Kaye

words and stuff.

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

I love her more than life itself. #myfirstbaby #MaggieMae https://t.co/vVbycV4vD0

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

Got dammit @robinthicke ever since I saw you at the airport tonight, Blurred Lines has been stuck in my head. #celebritysightings

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

@realDonaldTrump Thank me by paying me. After letting my management company know I couldn't afford rent anymore and would have to move out, I got slapped with a $1600 bill. How's that for patriatism. #payusnow

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

Just went to my management company to give notice to vacate since I haven't been paid since the shutdown and can't afford rent, All I got was a "Oh man that sucks... here's your bill for $1600 how would you like to pay?" #ThanksTrump #essentialpersonnel #notgettingpaid

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

It smells like a nail salon in my apartment. We are one hour into this job. Windows open, door open, air flowing through... dog constantly whining.

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

Homeboy continues. Puts down the acid in tub, I hear tape and plastic rustling. Comes out... so I'm gonna let that do its thing for 5-10 minutes. I'm keeping the door shut because it smells like burnt fruit loops.

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

Well my dude... I'm gonna call the office but you can go ahead and get started. Leaves for 15 minutes. Comes in with equipment, takes two personal calls with significant other each lasting about 5 minutes..... no biggie.

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

Okay homeboy.... any reason why they didn't tell me this way before so I could have made arrangements? Literally no idea, we tell them this everytime to tell the residents.

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

First thing he says, you can be here while we prep but you and your dog have to go once we spray. Okay, how long I don't have anywhere my dog can stay while I'm at work and I have other things I have to do today. Uh at least 6 hours.

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

Let me just live tweet this maintenance guy in my apartment... last week they tell me my neighbor downstairs has a leak and they think it's in my apartment. No problem bro... schedules work to be done on it on Friday. No shows all weekend. Here we are on Tuesday.

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

@PhillyD @verizon What. The. Actual. Hell.

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

So.... uh... Oklahoma did a thing today. And for once I'm proud to be an oklahoman.

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

Y'all getting bent out of shape over @djkhaled not taking care of his wife... dude... he couldn't even handle hot wings. https://t.co/Yv6RsaPP5U

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

@PhillyD yo dude... have you seen the Cobra Kai trailer? @YouTube #waxonwaxoff

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

Getting the people of #Haiti to model my updated @RealDonaldTrump #Maga hat. #HaitiIsGreatAlready #ConanHaiti

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

Best part of my day... my Boss's boss saying my boss doesn't have as much management experience as I do and she would like to have 10 of me in each store. Right on dude... Right on.

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

@jtay987 Lol I believe so :D

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

Ready for this spooktastic night ahead of me

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

Also probably not okay to quote a nazi to add weight to your argument.

[Kaye @imthelittlsamis]

Probably don't make jokes about "unhappy progressive feminists" to a progressive feminist if you're trying to sleep with her... lord.