If I owned this site I would make it so that you have to send in each individual tweet by mail to corporate HQ. Roughly ~70% of these letters would be "accidentally" destroyed.
I was on a walk earlier saw a glue flytrap on the ground wiggling with a dark clump on it. Didn’t notice until I looked closer it was a tiny chickadee tired and stuck. So I carried it back to my house used hand sanitizer to slowly pull him off he hopped away. No tiktok recorded.
"They made retirement age 200, any plans?"
Chuck Schumer: "Ok so first we get them sweaty at the gym, then we follow them to the sauna, and that's when the inhibitions come off and then..."
Bill Burr says "idiot" Elon Musk is "evidently a Nazi" with "dyed hair plugs and a laminated face."
"I just refuse to believe it was an accidental two-time Sieg Heil. And he does it at a presidential inauguration! This is why I hate liberals. Liberals have no teeth whatsoever. They just go, ‘Oh my God, can you believe this? I’m getting out of the country!’ I’m just like, you’re gonna leave the country because of one guy with dyed hair plugs and a laminated face? Who makes a bad car and has an obsolete social media platform? Why doesn’t he leave? Why are we so afraid of this guy who can’t fight his way out of a wet paper bag?”
Read more here: https://t.co/ibp8OifhjJ
@chiweethedog This reminds me of the limited KFC mac n cheese chicken wraps from last year. I always asked them to add cole slaw. I hate cole slaw but it was somehow fucking delicious. Hated myself every time I ordered it.
@chiweethedog I agree that people nitpick the fuck out of everything nowadays. But plain and simple it’s a very good depiction of the reality of the human psyche and how delusion can be undetectable on a conscious level, and it’s makes the audience experience it it themselves in real time.
put this side by side with Biden saying “I don’t have to go to bed early most of the time” and you’ll have what experts are calling “the smoothest reelection campaign of all time”