witty username

insert witty bio here.

[witty username @ineffablemom]

me: (ง •̀_•́)ง
my friends: you can’t even reach up here.
me: ….true.

[witty username @ineffablemom]

doxxing and threatening someone (& bragging about it) for something someone they MIGHT be dating posted BEFORE THEY EVEN MET and putting their life and mental health in danger for something they werent even INVOLVED IN is why twitter is such a disgusting place

[will drake @iamwilldrake]

Who tf has an electric lawnmower

[witty username @ineffablemom]

@ineffablenby but why aren't you okay with it

[witty username @ineffablemom]

@riseoforgana you're right though - it looks amazing

[witty username @ineffablemom]

@riseoforgana pics or it didn't happen

[witty username @ineffablemom]

signing off on an email with:

"Thanks!
Cristina"

and then getting the reply:

"Hi Christina,"

it's literally in my signature bruh

[Marcus Vance 🗡 @MarcusCVance]

What's the biggest problem you have with your name?

My biggest problem?

Me: "Hi, I'm Marcus. Nice to meet you."

Business people: "Hi, Marcus. Do you go by Mark?"

Me: "No. If I did then don't you think I'd introduce myself as that?"

[witty username @ineffablemom]

@againstbees which one though

[rax ‘levon honkers’ king @RaxKingIsDead]

luckily i have this rare medical condition where my pussy is so tight that it renders me incapable of reading criticism of me or indeed anything at all

[witty username @ineffablemom]

@ineffablenby french and shrimp are the same word...........right????

[witty username @ineffablemom]

scale: you lost 5 lbs!
pants: *struggle to button*
me (after a night of self-medicating): those must have been some heavy brain cells we destroyed...

[witty username @ineffablemom]

@riseoforgana as someone who is very familiar with the franchise, one of my first thoughts was how confusing it would be to someone who isn't. i think it's worth watching anyway, but expect a few "wtf?" moments before you make it through

[witty username @ineffablemom]

@ineffablenby please draw my team of togekiss, gyrados, pangaro, cinderace, raichu, and mr. rime, thx

[witty username @ineffablemom]

@BruntyAfterDark ugh what a mood though

[witty username @ineffablemom]

@ineffablenby both of these tweets are only true some of the time. some people aren't trying hard enough and i can say that as someone who used to get govt help for being below the poverty line. i saw people every day abusing the system while i was busting my ass to find a job.

[witty username @ineffablemom]

@ineffablenby what - and i can't express this enough - the fuck?

[witty username @ineffablemom]

@riseoforgana i'm confused by the previous replies when the answer is obviously snow white....

[witty username @ineffablemom]

@svkittie same though

[witty username @ineffablemom]

@DevonESawa wait... aaron carter is relevant?