the¡nsulter™

I insult people because insults are funny. I hope you get offended, because that’s even funnier!

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@PatrioGraysmark Yeah, glad to know you have a life!

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@katherine_kelly Jeez, keep it in your pants, lady. He's not going to marry you.

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@wittyname Your brain gets "filled" when you do a workout? A fucking workout?! What's next, a heart injury due to excessive tweeting?

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@amy_boland You’re complaining because you had a less than ideal lunch? There are people being gunned to death in Pakistan! Perspective.

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@edicius Shut! Up! Jerk! And! Learn! How! To! Not! Be! Completely! Obnoxious! Bwahahaha!

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@thepodcast So you unfollowed me as soon as I started following you back, huh? Are you, like, scared of my aura? Or just a jackass, perhaps?

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@kirbrok15 And I NEED to go to the moon! But I won't get there by sitting on a bleeding chamber pot. In other words, get off your ass!

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@mikkipedia And I have a headachelemma from your fucking idiotlemma. Lemma just kick your asslemma!

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90% of all people only tweet about Twitter on Twitter. What a colossal fucking waste of fucking bandwidth! And I'm no better.

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@posty watching stupid brainless twittericans spend ridiculous amounts of time on useless updates. maniacal crazy laughter.

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@mizrik WAIT ::: Did you think before hitting the update button at all? Or, more to the point, are you a complete asshole?

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@michaelwolf To me MySpace just feels like a bunch of kids lolling around, making graffiti on the walls with brightly colored sharpie!

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@jamessquires You're excited that you get to spend a day with Windows 7?! Wow, man, seriously, have you ever seen a woman naked? Honestly?

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@suPEARLative5 If your question was "how to be a blubbering idiot who's making no sense", you already know the answer, lady.

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@mediahammer666 "twas" a good day, huh? What is this, 1834? Should I call Julius Caesar to teach you modern English?

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@simoneakiea “…and then tweeted about it, brushed my teeth, took a dump, had a bath, tweeted about it, and still smell like the dog!”

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@petriux Ah, just what I need—tips to get it on with women! Here's a free tip from me: Stop being a fucking loser!

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@MyReality So you're writing love letters to your ovaries on Twitter? What's next, a prayer for your poor boyfriend's nipples?

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@nikpanter Not if you don't buy it, you know. You don't *have* to keep spending money all the time—it's not like there's a rule.

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@bearfanron The "never endless search for food", huh? That will win the Grammar Award for Dummies, that one!