lillie..

19 | edtwt |

[lillie.. @internetd1ary]

i just wish i wasnt a fat pig ya know

[leo @dietfume]

my edtwt account is this old:

[lillie.. @internetd1ary]

finally loosing the weight

[lillie.. @internetd1ary]

if i ate 700 or less cals starting rn i could be my gw by my birthday.... lets go

[lillie.. @internetd1ary]

convinging myself i am not hungry because my weight is up a crazy amount.. i just like to drink idk guys

[lillie.. @internetd1ary]

i am the only thing holding myself back

[lillie.. @internetd1ary]

just saw a picture of me from the side at a game... im never eating again im literally huge

[lillie.. @internetd1ary]

@starstruckii gyatt damn

[lillie.. @internetd1ary]

ive been loosing weight while eating normally so idk whats up with that but weightloss ig?

[lillie.. @internetd1ary]

eating one meal a day cuz im not hungry and dont think about food at all after being put on a new antidepressant thats also used for weightloss! feelings great

[lillie.. @internetd1ary]

i dont want to die but truthfully i dont see myself getting better. maybe ill just cut and get over it. maybe ill relapse really hard or get super big into alcohol and hope addiction kills me. but i cant do this.

[lillie.. @internetd1ary]

tomorrow is my birthday. i am hoping to end it tonight.

[lillie.. @internetd1ary]

i have only ever been shown a dislike for my existence. my mom cant talk to me because she hates me so much. every conversation she ends up upset and i dont know why. for that i am sorry she ever had me in the first place. i was never made to be her daughter.

[lillie.. @internetd1ary]

realizing that my brother is more important than me. i wont have anything on my birthday but he gets a graduation party for middle school. 3 days apart.

[lillie.. @internetd1ary]

double in restaurant industry on mothers day, 12k steps cuz my first restaurant was teeny tiny, second was training

[lillie.. @internetd1ary]

wish i didnt exist

[lillie.. @internetd1ary]

living on my campus next semester so its gonna be so much easier to not eat