Hats off to whoever came up with the LGTM stack. You are a marketing genius, and Observability Architects everywhere will praise you till the end of time.
Minor amusement that the cable modem I purchased 2 years ago "can't keep up" purely because it has a Gigabit Ethernet port, and Comcast thinks I need one with a 2.5 GbE port despite the fact that I've never seen them exceed ~600 Mbps outside of a speed test.