Tortured Artist Katz

author and art dabbler. steward of the earth, patron of the arts. fixated on tundra, lycanthropes, and heavy machinery. read my books on kindle NOW

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

If you dig
-Tsarist Russia
-Mechs
-Dieselpunk
-Werewolves
-Esoteric German Pre-Empire Tribalism
-Radioactive Juju
-Cheeky Humor
-Meth
-Exiled Militias

But you ain't a fan of
-Poland
-Vegetables
-Smarmy Teens
-Mary Sues
-Psychiatrists
-Demons

Why haven't you read my books yet?

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

You know what to do
https://t.co/hR1BsQqSBb

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

@BitterBakeneko When they check your glove compartment, they won't be none the wiser .........

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

what about mouthwash?

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

@BitterBakeneko Or even hand sanitizer.....

[モナ缶⩌⤙⩌ @uny9_]

🔍　飼い主　年取らない　なぜ
🔍　僕が死んだあと　飼い主　どうなる
🔍　不老不死　なる方法

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

In the 1990s Canadian scientists put the traditional Inuit caribou-skin suit into a cold laboratory alongside the best modern expedition clothing and army Arctic gear. The caribou won.

The design is thousands of years old. Two layers. The inner one is worn with the fur against the skin. The outer one has the fur facing out. Between them is a pocket of still air. The whole outfit weighs about the same as a modern down suit.

The secret is in the hair. Each caribou hair is hollow, a tiny sealed tube of air, and there are thousands to the square inch. It is the best natural insulation known. Frost does not stick to it. A hunter can sit motionless over a seal hole for hours at 40 below.

The polar explorers who lived learned this from the people who already knew. The ones who trusted what was sold in London shops had a harder time.

And the suit was only half of it. The people inside it ate seal, caribou, fish and whale, and very little else. They burned fat for warmth from the inside and wore fur for warmth on the outside. For 4,000 years they lived, raised children and grew old in a place where nothing green grows for nine months.

No plant fed them and no plant clothed them. Every single thing that kept a human being alive in the Arctic came off an animal.

We now make jackets out of spun oil, fill them with plastic wadding, and sell them with a picture of the Arctic on the label.

The test was run in a freezer by people with instruments. The reindeer came first, as it had every winter for forty centuries.

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

I keep telling you not to fuck with dairy farmers Misha

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

The most feared soldiers in medieval Europe were dairy farmers. Their enemies had a name for them, and it was meant as an insult. They called them the cow-Swiss.

The cantons of the high Alps had almost no land that would grow grain. What they had was summer pasture. From the 1300s the people there turned over almost entirely to cattle. They lived on milk, butter, cheese and meat, drove their surplus animals over the passes to sell in Italy, and bought in what little bread they wanted.

Their overlords were the Habsburgs. In 1315 a duke rode in with an army of armoured knights to bring them to heel. About 1,500 herdsmen caught the column in a narrow pass beside a lake and destroyed it. At Sempach in 1386 they did it again, on open ground, and killed the duke. In the 1470s they wiped out three armies of the richest prince in Europe, one after another, and left him dead in a frozen ditch.

Contemporaries could not get over the size and stamina of these men. Every king in Europe wanted to hire them. In 1506 the Pope chose them as his bodyguard, and they are still at the gates of the Vatican in the same uniform.

The Germans to the north mocked them as cowherds and milkers, and made cruder jokes than that. The Swiss went to war over the insult in 1499 and won that as well.

Machiavelli, who had seen them fight, put it in a single phrase. The Swiss, he wrote, are the most armed and the most free.

They had no king, no nobles and no wheat. Europe laughed at them for living on cows, and for 200 years could not beat them.

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

yo why tf didn't I hear about this

[ferizandra @ferizandra]

PADA TAHUN 2012, SEORANG PEMILIK JARINGAN RESTORAN SUSHI ASAL JEPANG TERBANG KE SOMALIA DAN MENGAJARKAN PARA BAJAK LAUT CARA MENANGKAP IKAN TUNA — DAN 'SECARA MANDIRI MENGAKHIRI SERANGAN BAJAK LAUT DI SOMALIA...'

Pada tahun 2011, bajak laut Somalia menyerang 237 kapal dan menahan ratusan pelaut sebagai sandera dalam satu waktu dan menuntut uang tebusan jutaan dolar...

Kebanyakan orang Amerika mengetahui masalah ini dari satu insiden — pembajakan kapal Maersk Alabama dengan kaptennya, Richard Phillips, pada tahun 2009, yang berakhir dengan penembak jitu Navy SEAL dan dibikin film Hollywood dimana aktor Tom Hanks berperan sebagai Captain Phillips...

Dua tahun kemudian, kapal perang dari AS, Uni Eropa, NATO, China, India, dan Jepang berpatroli di Teluk Aden, dan gak satu pun bisa menghentikan serangan bajak laut...

Kemudian seorang pemilik restoran sushi dari Tokyo terbang ke Somalia dan pergi ke pesisir untuk berbicara dengan para bajak laut...

Namanya Kiyoshi Kimura, pemilik jaringan Sushi Zanmai — pria yang dijuluki Jepang sebagai Raja Tuna, yang membayar rekor $3,2 juta untuk satu tuna sirip biru Januari ini...

Menurut pengakuannya sendiri, dia pergi sekitar tahun 2012 dan menyimpulkan bahwa para bajak laut itu adalah nelayan yang kehilangan pekerjaan karena ikan di perairan mereka udah dihabiskan oleh kapal pukat asing...

Jadi katanya ia memberi mereka empat kapal penangkap ikan, mengajari mereka menangkap tuna sirip kuning, menyediakan freezer untuk menyimpan hasil tangkapan, dan berjanji akan membeli setiap ikan...

"Mereka bahkan gak suka merompak," katanya... "Saya menyarankan agar mereka menangkap ikan tuna aja, dan mencari nafkah yang membanggakan untuk keluarga mereka..."

Serangan bajak laut Somalia turun dari 237 pada tahun 2011 menjadi 15 pada tahun 2013, dan pada tahun 2015 pembajakan udah berhenti...

International Maritime Bureau memberi kredit kepada Angkatan Laut, penjaga pantai, dan pemerintah Somalia...

Nama Kimura gak ada di dalam daftar itu...

Begitulah cara seorang penjual sushi dari Tokyo untuk selamanya "mengakhiri pembajakan di perairan Somalia seorang diri..."

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

@SpiritualGenin we all must persist and live to see Christ return so pick yo goddamn head up and look sharp when He gets here or I'm making you stand on the other side of the room so He doesn't think ur with me actin all gay at the rapture talkin bout your feelings ok no sad hours

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

And then everyone goes and neuters and spays their animals so nobody ever ever has a lineage of dogs in their care and ppl actually viciously fucking hate you if you try to build deep dog love history like that. (((they))) don't like it when you don't spend 6000 bucks on akc pups

[𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐖𝐨𝐥𝐟 @TheNicholasWolf]

I saw a post years ago positing that to dogs humans are like elves, immortal and unchanging. It reckoned that greatest honor a dog could achieve was to be there to ease a human’s passing, not just because it was an event so rare that generations of dogs lived and died never even seeing them age, but in recognition of the many ancestors that the human had cared for during their long life.

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

@SpiritualGenin why would i do that

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

they're tweeting about kentucky now

[Kaze @kazehist]

I think downloaded the wrong The Lord of the Rings movie?

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

NEVER CALL A BORZ A JU THEY ARE NOBLE NON-BITING WOLF-HUNTING ARISTOCRATS THAT WOULD COULD AND WILL SHRED A PITBULL ON SIGHT

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

whoa a hit tweet buy my books https://t.co/Uzs31y74YO

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

You know what to do
https://t.co/hR1BsQqSBb

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

NEVER CALL A BORZ A JU THEY ARE NOBLE NON-BITING WOLF-HUNTING ARISTOCRATS THAT WOULD COULD AND WILL SHRED A PITBULL ON SIGHT

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

I think I have become too disconnected from the satire to engage in whatever tomfoolery you lot have gotten up to in my absense

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

@TrulyAFed Oh so it's like a ✡️

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

is this someone I should care about bc last time I was online a blue check was synonymous with a rainbow flag

[Eli @MassiveNigga]

@isekai_ideation FINISH READING POSTS BEFORE YOU RESPOND, I GET IT BUT COME ON

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

@Genubath_ WAIT REALLY

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

serious question I've always been scared to ask but how is his hat so big, what's in there

[Humble Flow @HumbleFlow]

The Christian kingdoms of Europe were divided.

France even allied with the Ottomans against the Habsburgs.

Few believed the Turks could be stopped.

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

@ShirePropaganda https://t.co/oGzF6ubgtV

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

@EB40988 thank you im working back to back shifts and side gigs and my ability to read has suffered as my nervous system has begun to shut down over the last couple of months, i genuinely appreciate it thank you

[Tortured Artist Katz @isekai_ideation]

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary