Toba!

follow rafiki, he knows the way 🐒

[Daisy Christodoulou @daisychristo]

I am just back from the Oval and I regret to inform you that London has in fact fallen.

More Arsenal shirts than Surrey shirts. Forget about Palace or Charlton.

Arsenal fans everywhere in South London. Yesterday I was in East London at my parents - their local pub had more Arsenal fans in it than West Ham fans for the Conference League 3 years ago. Lots more. Not even close.

The "London FC" people are right. I don't like it, but they're right. And given the way that London tends to eat the world, don't get smug if you're outside of London. If we have half a decade of Arsenal dominance, by the end of it they'll have taken over Liverpool and Manchester too and the economy will be one giant Arsenal merch store with a few farms and data centres tacked on.

Foreign leaders will grant profitable trade and visa deals in return for being allowed exclusive pre-access to the new Declan Rice hologram experience in the Emirates Museum.

[𝐌 @MooreRMFC]

I actually agree and can’t fault having a PSG player as the MOTM because they won but it would be so nice if awards are given without certain contexts.

For the 120 mins’ the ball was in play for, there was no better player on that pitch yesterday than Gabriel Magalhaes.

[Egal @EGTVEgal]

Football fan culture has become more about hating on other clubs than enjoying your own team. It’s kind of pathetic.

[Toba! @ismvael]

The last few days of getting back on this app reminded me why I left it. Just useless reductive troll views.

[🚨The Celebration Police🚨 @PLCPolice]

Feels like time to call it a day on this account, so this will be my final post.

I started this piss-taking Celebration Police thing 4 years ago and it’s genuinely been great fun. Unexpectedly so.

Through this account, I’ve met and engaged with some brilliant people, built a 55k following, made a bit of money and, for the most part, enjoyed my time here.

But let’s be honest: the joke wore thin a long time ago. And i’m bored of this platform and the increasingly repetitive, shit banter that fills it.

And Arsenal have won the league, so who gives a fuck about weirdos telling you when you can or can’t be happy about the football team you invest so much of yourself in😂

Policing celebrations is about as lame as it gets. It really is😂👎🏻

So thank you for all the support over the years, each and every one of you, and for engaging with The Celebration Police. You’ve been brilliant❤️

So for one last time…

ALL UNITS TO THE EMIRATES!!! 🚨🚨🚨

Chiefo x
#COYG

[wavy @wavygooner]

None of them congratulated us when we won the PL but couldn’t wait to dunk on us now. This is why 80% of premier league teams be playing their World Cup final vs Arsenal while bending over backwards for City

[mariam @maryooomaaa_]

This season has made me realise that people hate arsenal more than they love their own teams and that’s truly embarrassing 😭

[Rilwan @Real1_balogun]

Premier League — 38 games
UCL final
Carabao Cup final
FA Cup Quarterfinal

If you still tell yourself Arsenal are lucky, you're self-harming. The earlier you tell yourself the truth, the better.

That's a football club that have stood up everywhere to be counted. They’ve only been two games short of playing the maximum games a team of their level can play in a single season.

Manchester United played only 40 games this season. The UCL final in Budapest will be Arsenal’s 63rd game of the season.

The maximum a team in that level could play in a season is 65. This means Arsenal have played 97% of the total games they could have played this season.

That's as elite as they come.

[Asad🇵🇸 @Asxdk_98]

“Why are Arsenal fans unbearable”

[Arsenal @Arsenal]

We all deserve this ❤️

[Footysm ⚽️ @Footysm]

🚨[🟢] NEW: Arsenal’s Premier League title lift recorded the highest live viewership for a title celebration in the last two decades 😳

Today’s celebrations peaked at 7.3 million live viewers, compared to Liverpool’s 3 million viewers during their title lift last season.

[frogan @fr0gan]

“controversial youtube star” and it’s literally because she doesn’t want kids blown up

[Toba! @ismvael]

Worried for this era of fake quotes and misinformation presented as agenda or worse as banter. The world is so shit that people are comfortable putting out dishonest prints or images as facts. The amount of people looking for banger tweets while spreading falsehood is mad.

[Curran @CurranBoP]

FUCK OFF BACK TO MUNICH

[Irlandarra @aldamu_jo]

Bilbao Basque Country , Charity Match full house.

Basque Country vs Palestine at San Mames stadium Bilbao on 53,000 sold out tonight.

All proceeds from the match will go to fund humanitarian aid, the reconstruction of Gaza and the urgent needs of the Palestinian people.

[THE KING HERSELF. @_hafsat_paki]

This is why Nigeria is targeted by the USA 🇺🇸

PLS RT AND SHARE !

[Grok @grok]

Yes, Prophet Muhammad extended mercy and aid broadly, including to non-Muslims, without requiring conversion. Quran 60:8 instructs: "Allah does not forbid you from those who do not fight you because of religion... from being righteous toward them and acting justly." Hadith permits sadaqah (voluntary charity) to non-Muslims, as in the Prophet's practice of helping the needy regardless of faith, embodying mercy to all worlds (Quran 21:107). Yet, his benevolence often invited reflection on monotheism.

[Arnaud Bertrand @RnaudBertrand]

An interesting angle on this narrative is that it seems to originate from a separatist movement - the so-called "Biafran separatists" - in the South of Nigeria who last year hired former U.S. Congressman Jim Moran as a lobbyist to push for their movement.

On the very website of Jim Moran's lobbying firm - Moran Global Strategies - he posted last year that he was taking them as clients and intended "to lobby to gain US support for Biafra’s independence" under the angle of "raising the alarm on the persecution of Christians": https://t.co/DK7Ynn1QeC

Which is quite an ironic angle in the case of the Biafra area because it's located in the South of the country, which is overwhelmingly Christian (Nigeria is actually the country in Africa with the most Christians), and is the safest part of the country for Christians.

They're apparently paying Jim Moran "under a $10K per month contract" (again, according to Moran himself on his website) which, assuming this is indeed what spurred Trump's sudden passion for Nigerian Christians, would make it perhaps the greatest ROI in lobbying history: shaping US foreign policy for the cost of a small startup's marketing budget.

[Zohran Kwame Mamdani @ZohranKMamdani]

Just had a constituent sign my petition because I’m an Arsenal fan

[Ọmọ Akin @GuyMr0]

America fought against ISIS in Syria, ISIS is ruling Syria today 🇸🇾

America fought Al-Qaeda in Iraq, Al-Qaeda is ruling Iraq today 🇮🇶

America fought Taliban in Afghanistan, Taliban is ruling Afghanistan today 🇦🇫

Yet Nigerians are begging America to come and fight Boko Haram 🇳🇬