Rohaan Upadhyay

Lawyer, poet, occasional funny guy. sometimes I forget I have a twitter account. IG: @issa_rohaan

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

If I was a celebrity, I would have been cancelled years ago.

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

Nitish Kumar rn

#ElectionsUpdate

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

Apni pasandida aurat ke saamne Gomez Addams banne mein kaisi sharam?

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

Other countries when their national team is playing: We will win the finals!
Their countrymen: HELL YEAH LET'S GO!!

When Indian national team is playing: We will win the finals!
Indians: Aye nazar mat laga bey!

#WorldCup2023

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

Movie idea:
A series of murders and paranormal activities happen at a garba event.

Title of the movie: Aye Hallo-ween.

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

Lana Del Rey is just Taylor Swift but for depressed girls.

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

@aakanshaa_ Nah. We are nice because we wanna hit. Dudes that say they have no ulterior motive when they're being nice, are lying. Which is why I'd rather be an honest douchebag than a fake nice guy.

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

Me, an unbiased political aficionado, watching the Maharashtra political fiasco and appreciating the twists and turns by the powers that play
#MaharashtraPolitics

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

Dating in this day and age is hard because whenever you screw up even in the slightest, there's 20 other people ready to replace you.

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

After seeing netizens talk about how bad the #Pasoori remake was, I decided to give it a listen, with absolutely zero expectations.
I'm happy to inform that the song is even worse than I thought it would be.
Once again, you have outdone yourself @TSeries

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

Pride month?
Mujhe kya, main toh disappointment hoon.

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

@divyaappathak As a Brahmin from my father's side, my father is married to a Muslim. He still prefers I marry a Brahmin. Lmao.

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

@msdohnii Thodi der ke liye gotey muh mein aa gaye the

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

Mumbaikars when it starts to rain

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

-Omg, your Marathi accent is so sexy, say October again.
-"Octumber"

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

You're in her dms, I'm in her washroom cleaning her period blood off my dick. We're not the same bro.

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

Skrrt

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

@areuboredyetpod Right?

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

Is it just me or does AP Dhillon's new song Summer High ka intro sound similar to The Less I Know The Better by Tame Impala?

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

If her name ends with a vowel, she's gonna ruin your life.

[Rohaan Upadhyay @issa_rohaan]

Me: *has sex for the 715882th time*
Also me in the moment: Wow I can't believe I'm actually having sex!