Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.
$30 per seat per month.
$1.4 million annually.
I called it "digital transformation."
The board loved that phrase.
They approved it in eleven minutes.
No one asked what it would actually do.
Including me.
I told everyone it would "10x productivity."
That's not a real number.
But it sounds like one.
HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.
I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."
They stopped asking.
Three months later I checked the usage reports.
47 people had opened it.
12 had used it more than once.
One of them was me.
I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.
It took 45 seconds.
Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.
But I called it a "pilot success."
Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.
The CFO asked about ROI.
I showed him a graph.
The graph went up and to the right.
It measured "AI enablement."
I made that metric up.
He nodded approvingly.
We're "AI-enabled" now.
I don't know what that means.
But it's in our investor deck.
A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.
I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."
He asked what that meant.
I said "compliance."
He asked which compliance.
I said "all of them."
He looked skeptical.
I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."
He stopped asking questions.
Microsoft sent a case study team.
They wanted to feature us as a success story.
I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."
I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.
They didn't verify it.
They never do.
Now we're on Microsoft's website.
"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."
The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.
He got 3,000 likes.
He's never used Copilot.
None of the executives have.
We have an exemption.
"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."
I wrote that policy.
The licenses renew next month.
I'm requesting an expansion.
5,000 more seats.
We haven't used the first 4,000.
But this time we'll "drive adoption."
Adoption means mandatory training.
Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.
But completion will be tracked.
Completion is a metric.
Metrics go in dashboards.
Dashboards go in board presentations.
Board presentations get me promoted.
I'll be SVP by Q3.
I still don't know what Copilot does.
But I know what it's for.
It's for showing we're "investing in AI."
Investment means spending.
Spending means commitment.
Commitment means we're serious about the future.
The future is whatever I say it is.
As long as the graph goes up and to the right.
Turkeys don't want to be eaten.
Turkeys don't want to be eaten.
Turkeys don't want to be eaten.
Turkeys don't want to be eaten.
Turkeys don't want to be eaten.
Turkeys don't want to be eaten.
Men, I challenge you to try this in August.
- Daily porn
- Daily alcohol
- 5-8 hours on the game/day
- 2-5 hours of sleep
- 500> steps/day
- 0 push-ups daily
- No home cooked meals; takeout only
Shall we?
whatsappda kendi fotosunu koymayan herkesin amına koyim tumblr mı burası orrrrospu evladı iletişim kurmaya çalışıyorum aynı bölümdeniz neden sushi fotoğrafı var amına kodumun piçi çok sinirliyim çok
#RIPDuo.
May your cause of death be identified ASAP.
One thing we know for sure:
It's not smallpox, because the disease has been eradicated since 1980.
Hesabı kim ödemeli mevzusu çıkmış. Cimri erkeğe kimse saygı duymaz. Ben ilk yemeği ödedim o da ikincisini ödesin diyen erkeğe de kimse saygı duymaz. Hesabı bölüşelim diyen erkeğe de saygı duymaz. Siz bir aile birliği içinde olsanız zaten sen ben olmaz. Ama hayatınıza almaya çalıştığınız kadına bir yemeği ısmarlamayı da bir zahmet yapın. Ha bunu yapacak paranız yok,kimseyi davet etmeyin. Önce kendi mali konularınızı çözün. Aileler oğlumuz ne iş yapıyor diye boşuna sormuyor. Kadınların kendi maddi güçleri olması şarttır, ama erkeklerin de olması şart:) Kadınlar güçlendikçe erkekler prensesleşti. Ama güçlü kadınlar da güçlü erkeklerle ilgileniyor. Bir kahve ücreti ödeyince ağlayanlarla değil. Ha sizin ekonomik durumunuzu anlamayıp yüksek beklentiye giren kadına da siz elveda demelisiniz. Ama maddi gücü olup da kadın da ödesin diyeni istemiyor kadınlar. Etrafa zengin görünüp kendi sevdiğiniz kadının parasından beklentiniz olması tercih edilir değil :) Agalarıyla içip binlerce hesap öder,evde karısına parayı ne yaptın diye hesap sorar.Ekonomi kötü evet, kadın ve erkek eşit evet.Her şey para da değil evet. Ama cinsiyet rolleri gerçek. Rolleri değişmeyin :)