🌺l

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“Slight change of plan” - Translation: This new, hastily cobbled-together plan bears absolutely no relation to the original plan.

[Harry Mitchell @harrywmitchell]

my girlfriend talks in her sleep. i've noted them down for weeks, and turned her dreams into rupi kaur poems.

[Emma Dolan @JustMissEmma]

Me every time I leave a room after being super nice and bubbly...

[Ricky Gervais @rickygervais]

Because so many of you watched #AfterLife2 so quickly and made it Number 1 again, the nice people at @Netflix have suggested that I get off my fat arse and do another season. This is all your fault.

[James Blunt @JamesBlunt]

During lockdown, while many other artists are doing mini-concerts from their homes, I thought I’d do you all a favour and not.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“Let’s go round and introduce ourselves”

#SixWordHorror

[Brandon Stanton @humansofny]

“I’m ninety-six years old. I’d rather just take a pill and get it over with..."

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Never underestimate the ability of things to get worse.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

The horror of being reminded that you agreed to go to a party

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“How’s your day going?”
“Not too bad” - Translations:
1. Surprisingly okay so far
2. Worst day of my life
3. Spectacularly
4. It’s exceedingly unremarkable
5. I feel nothing

[Pixar @Pixar]

Spice things up. #WorldRatDay

[Pixar @Pixar]

You've got to see it to Bao-lieve it. Find out how our Academy Award-nominated short was made.

[chelseycrabbe @chelseycrabbe]

me after @Beyonce announced her vegan contest

[Brandon Stanton @humansofny]

“My kids are going to be shocked when they become adults and learn that I’ve basically been playing a character for their entire lives. All day long I have to pretend like I care about everything. I’m a laid back guy. I could actually care less if they make their..."

[Pixar @Pixar]

Embrace your differences.

[E! News @enews]

It's official: Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh will be co-hosting the 2019 #GoldenGlobes. https://t.co/pL2LBWW6Mb