Eva Lynch

[Eva Lynch @itsnotevalynch]

Best day of my life? Easy. There was one day when I was six I finally learned how to whistle, but the next day I woke up and had forgotten how to do it all over again. Haven’t whistled since.

[Eva Lynch @itsnotevalynch]

Dakota Johnson has the chance to do the funniest thing ever

[indy of the rotund table @therotundtable]

a bunch of polar bears have moved into an abandoned research station on island near russia…homeowners!

[Eva Lynch @itsnotevalynch]

At work a woman was describing what its like to have a teenage son and she said he freezes peanut butter, scoops a spoon out (because he’s so strong), puts it in his mouth (because he’s so hungry), goes and showers, and only knows to stop showering once it melts and he can eat it

[Rosalind @rosalindmar19]

Kurt Vonnegut on buying an envelope

[Eva Lynch @itsnotevalynch]

What’s with bran muffins being everywhere again, if I wanted to eat sawdust I’d go to a woodshop

[Eva Lynch @itsnotevalynch]

I think if my boss comes to work, blows his nose then tries to show it to me, I should get to sue

[grass @keepoffgrasss]

i feel like i sound like this when i talk sometimes

[Eva Lynch @itsnotevalynch]

I have a week off work and my boss added me on Duolingo

[Eva Lynch @itsnotevalynch]

@Ollie_R1 Hi, are these still available?

[promise li @promise__li]

UCLA just sent riot police to beat up students who were screening a movie about how schools like UCLA sent riot police to beat up students supporting Palestine, on the one-year anniversary of UCLA calling riot police to beat up students supporting Palestine.

[Eva Lynch @itsnotevalynch]

I knew AI was evil when I did one of those celebrity look-a-like generators in 2016 and they said Ted Cruz

[Eva Lynch @itsnotevalynch]

Everyday I look more and more like a 6 year old dressed me

[Eva Lynch @itsnotevalynch]

Was talking about movies with my cousin and almost used the word cunty but had a war-like flashback just in the nick of time remembering he’s a 30 year old white suburban man

[Eva Lynch @itsnotevalynch]

@PunchingCat Henry Hoke’s Open Throat

[Eva Lynch @itsnotevalynch]

@dejecteditgirl Did they turn out perfect?

[𝐄𝐊. @ekibrahim_]

I would’ve cut a hole in the bottom of the table like a Scooby Doo villain.

[Eva Lynch @itsnotevalynch]

Everybody buckle up for ‘drat’ winter, it’s like brat summer but instead of being bratty I’m clumsy and constantly spilling and dropping things on the floor.

[Eva Lynch @itsnotevalynch]

@raspb3rrybaby 🤡

[Eva Lynch @itsnotevalynch]

Walking home, bag full of clown

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

ㅤ

[Eva Lynch @itsnotevalynch]

Can officially cross drinking water at the smallpox hospital off my bucket list