Sad Tired Apocalypse Dad

[Sad Tired Apocalypse Dad @ittociwam]

@Ze_Burnay I finally got this hung up in my jam space and loving it so much 🤩

[Sad Tired Apocalypse Dad @ittociwam]

@okaykoa Normalize massive comments in the workplace

[Sad Tired Apocalypse Dad @ittociwam]

Amusement parks are a good place to go to get put onto a big machine and violently shaken around for a bit

[Sad Tired Apocalypse Dad @ittociwam]

@cadie_bise Ryan Reynolds sandwich

[Sad Tired Apocalypse Dad @ittociwam]

Saturday Child's Birthday Party mode 🦄

[Sad Tired Apocalypse Dad @ittociwam]

Mormon seminary videos had me vastly overestimating the amount of girls that were going to try to pull me into a back room for sex at parties in highschool

[Sad Tired Apocalypse Dad @ittociwam]

Kate and I made colleges last sat, the theme was "Scooby Doo IRL"

[Sad Tired Apocalypse Dad @ittociwam]

Really sucks that we came up with such cool names for our galaxies for them just to collide and become "Milkdromeda" in 5 billion years

[Sad Tired Apocalypse Dad @ittociwam]

Me bringing a can of wood restorer that I couldn't open back to Home Depot: "Yeah... I just didn't end up needing it"

[Sad Tired Apocalypse Dad @ittociwam]

My wife thinks the Ghostbusters theme is just about bustin' ghosts 😏

[Sad Tired Apocalypse Dad @ittociwam]

Me: you think I should get really into Dune?
My wife: Dune't
@iwannabek8_

[Sad Tired Apocalypse Dad @ittociwam]

Me: *sees @cadie_bise is back on Twitter*
"Time to re-download Twitter"

[Evan J. Worthen @harambevan]

ladies and gentlemen, we got em

[Sad Tired Apocalypse Dad @ittociwam]

@exfloited 🙏

[Sad Tired Apocalypse Dad @ittociwam]

One thing I've learned living in Texas is that there's not really a football team called the cowboys and when people say "how about them cowboys" they're talking about real life cowboys that ride around and lasso your dog

[Sad Tired Apocalypse Dad @ittociwam]

There's a fuckin sasquatch and whole ass army with deadly weapons on the road to Shambala guys

[Hank Green @hankgreen]

Breaking: Man who receives tremendous economic benefits from having controversial opinions has had another opinion.

[Sad Tired Apocalypse Dad @ittociwam]

This MF turned out to be a lot less of a problem than I imagined. Guess the sign really works.

[NOT A WOLF @SICKOFWOLVES]

HELL YEAH I HAVE TIME OFF FROM WORK

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

I WILL TRY TO RELAX BUT ULTIMATELY END UP INTERNALLY CHASTISING MYSELF FOR NOT USING MY FREE TIME TO CREATE ONE OF SOCIETY'S MOST BELOVED WORKS OF ART