Madison

I don’t know how to parallel park

[cashewrising @cashewrising]

everyone wants life to feel like sex and the city but no one wants to accidentally stay out way too late on a random weeknight or show up at a friends place unannounced

[Sav Shawz @shawzsav]

Hot take but listening to an audiobook is not reading and it’s actually insane to think otherwise

[mir.i.am #PrayForSnooki @moll11y]

They need to expand Make A Wish for people who have eczema

[tré easton @treeaston]

TALK YO SHIT ABIGAIL

[chels @gremlingardener]

when the trees are gone & the water is no longer clean & our natural resources are depleted & they’re trying to sell us bottled air like the fucking lorax, when nature becomes a luxury & the bees disappear and the food supply dwindles, at least you owned the libs, am I right?!

[Eoin Daly @eoinmauricedaly]

Could we please receive clarity soon on whether we’re facing a period of temporary inflation or a civilisational collapse where we live in caves and eat weeds.
Thank you for your attention to this matter

[Kyle Potter @kpottermn]

Oh my God.

Following the fatal crash of an Air Canada jet with a fire truck at LaGuardia last night, @CNN reports a flight attendant was found outside of the plane, buckled into her seat.

Alive.

Wear your seatbelts, folks. https://t.co/sTqXizH5O2

[👑🗽 @_sosoqueens]

I don’t think we supposed to be eating eggs

[italian lucite @yurodivys]

My entire life is powered by a desire to go swimming in nice water. I only work to go swimming. The winter is hard for me because I lose sight of what is most important when I am far away from going swimming

[⚡︎ @_sorrengailll]

My unpopular opinion / Hot Take : I actually do not desire to see technology advance any further.

[Tobin Stone 🌐 @tobinjstone]

There is something deeply evil about National Harbor

[eloise @soupforeloise]

please stop showing me that lonely monkey and its plushie, I do not have the mental fortitude to withstand the psychic damage

[Aly Dee @realfemsapien]

Idk how women got everyone to call daycare “school” now.
Impressive manipulation skills.

[Elmo @elmo]

That Bunny was AMAZING. Elmo thinks he should be called Good Bunny! Elmo loves you, Mr. Good Bunny! ❤️🎶🐰

[NRA @NRA]

This sentiment from the First Assistant U.S. Attorney for the Central District of California is dangerous and wrong.

Responsible public voices should be awaiting a full investigation, not making generalizations and demonizing law-abiding citizens.

[Black Girl @t_sadiity]

TurboTax keep emailing me, I'm waiting on my W2 ima fw chu just hold on

[Black Girl @t_sadiity]

When tf did they stop painting speed bumps yellow 😡 I was just in the air