Jared Becker

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

Update to the update’s update: I rowed in a regatta. Am I athlete now?

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

Update to that update: I’m now part of a rowing crew

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

Update to that update: I’m now part of a rowing crew

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

Update: I bought a rowing machine

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

Update: I bought a rowing machine

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

Me, who rarely exercises: I should buy a rowing machine

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

I went to 4H camp one time as a kid and this guy tried to convince our entire cabin that packing your clothes in a cooler was superior to a suitcase and that’s why I never went back

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

Are you weird or are you “thinks about how you would code the algorithm of the stop light based on the traffic pattern” weird because I’m the latter

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

I have a new religion

[Thomas H. Ptacek @tqbf]

I’m sorry, I simply cannot be cynical about a technology that can accomplish this.

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

The hardest part about moving is finding your new grocery store and learning the layout to optimize your time

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

Me, who rarely exercises: I should buy a rowing machine

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

Yall have those random memories from childhood that pop in your head way too often? For me it’s the time in 5th grade when my friend & I were adding a new dog in Nintendogs named “Foo”. When asked how to spell it I instinctively yelled F-U right when his mom walked in the room 😂

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

At the end of a work day I close out all my browser windows and subsequently dozens and dozens of tabs without checking if they’re important or contain unsaved work because I like to live dangerously

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

i’m not emotionally prepared for this

[Percy Jackson @PercySeries]

Welcome to Camp Half-Blood, demigods 🔱 #PercyJackson #D23Expo

[NBC Olympics & Paralympics @NBCOlympics]

The greatest.

Thank you, @serenawilliams. ❤️

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

TBH I’m over hyper-optimistic people’s outlook on life. Like people thinking the slightest inconvenience in life like a hangnail is for the greater good and it’s exhausting fr

[Washington State Dept. of Natural Resources @waDNR]

Made a playlist for your weekend hike

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

@car00liine thanks for always being my #1 fan

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

I apologize for this joke I wrote but hopefully y’all laugh like I did:

What do you call it when Beyoncé tries to connect to the departed? A seancé

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

@iamtyler_b Not counting the baby visit there’s still no competition 😂😂

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

I’ve lived in STL for 5+ yrs & this weekend is the first time my mom’s simply visiting. The 2 other times have been to pick me up otw to TEXAS to visit Tyler or for Tyler’s wedding. She’s been to TX/MN to visit Tyler more times than me 2.5 hours away. Who do you think is the fav?

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

Have ya'll ever boiled chicken

[Jared Becker @j23beck]

I just learned Rihanna is only 7 years old than me. You mean to tell me when I was jamming to Pon de Replay in the 5th grade Rihanna was 17?! #Legend