Tyler B

tweets from a dad

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

Commercials that portray a stay at home Dad getting lit over a stain boosting laundry detergent are what I call my 5 year plan

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

Few months late to update here but like most of my plans, it didn’t work 😭 there’s always next year

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

Commercials that portray a stay at home Dad getting lit over a stain boosting laundry detergent are what I call my 5 year plan

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

Ok I’m allowing myself to be excited now. MIZ!!!

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

Taylor is so relatable. Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby and I’m a monster on a hill too

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

Feeling this so hard today

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

Pain. Don’t call/text

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

Great thing about having an infant is that you can use any song as a lullaby. Just rocked Madelyn to sleep while singing Twerkulator

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

“No one wants to work anymore” I know, I just want to walk around Costco and have people tell me how cute my child is

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

@j23beck Ok the baby visit doesn’t count though

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

7 tweets from you today about Jill’s taco remark. ZERO tweets about anything that happened during today’s Jan 6th hearing.

[Fox News @FoxNews]

CNN, MSNBC ignore Jill Biden's 'breakfast tacos' gaffe in broadcasts https://t.co/9mRf0O2AFG

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

When you need more explanation but don’t want the FBI getting any ideas

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

I go back to work tomorrow and the only thing I will be screen sharing for the foreseeable future is cute pictures of my daughter

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

Everyone says my baby is cute, and most people say she looks like me, therefore I am cute

[ESPN @espn]

It's been 18 years since the Globo Gym Purple Cobras blew a four-man advantage against Average Joe’s Gym in the American Dodgeball Association of America Tournament.

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

If you’re eating something you got from Costco, but don’t tell anyone around you that you got it from Costco at least twice, they revoke your membership

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

What in tf is this picture

[The Wall Street Journal @WSJ]

Women said they left jobs because they were not receiving enough opportunities for career progression, their personal skills were unrewarded, and their work was uninteresting. Many of those problems trace back to the same source: non-promotable work. https://t.co/2xWvxPWoys

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

Trying to console a newborn is a good workout because you move your body in strange ways to find something they like and then you’re stuck doing that move indefinitely

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

How do I tell my cloud I need extra space because I need to take 1000 pictures of my baby per day

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

We were out the door & on time to our first baby appointment… do we get mailed a certificate or something

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

When a major storm rolls through that’s not quite major enough to get us a new roof, it’s like so what was the point?

[Tyler B @iamtyler_b]

I have a “follow up look at” folder in my email and once I put an email in there it is guaranteed to never be followed up on or looked at 😂