Jordan Allen

“clack clack and shit”

[Brady @pebbut]

Just saw the fat one from Alvin and the Chipmunks panhandling on the side of the road I drove through a puddle and splashed him

[m @msnetik]

If you press the right buttons on your phone they send Thai food to your house

[Joben @icebergs1mpson]

Got the friggin lettuce virus from 12 Guinness last night

[Grace @gracecamille_]

DIVA 💅 DOWN ⬇️ FLIMSY 🍜 LINDSAY 👵 Graham 👴 is on permanent 😭 RECESS 💀 today 📆 after taking 😳 a deep 😩 DICKING 🍆 💦 from 👏 a SEXY 🫦 ILLNESS ☣️ the senator 👴 from SOUTH ⬇️ CUNTOLINA 🇺🇸 💅 died 🪦 on FREE 💸 SLURPEE 🥤 DAY 📆 after a 👶 lifetime 👴 of SUCKING 🍆 😩 the life 💀 out of his 💅 CUNT 🍑 -STITUENTS 😏 While many 🙅‍♂️ will not 🚫 miss 🤷‍♂️ the notorious 💥 WAR 🔫 COCK 🍆 we must pour 🫗 one out 👉 for this 💃 SEXY 🫦 SLAYER 💀 down⬇️ south 🇺🇸 so send ✉️ ➡️ this to 🫵 your 🔟 most❗SEXUALLY 🍆 💦 AMBIGIOUS ⚧ CUNT🍑 -SERVE💅 -atives 💁‍♀️ if you 🫵 get 0️⃣ back 🍑 you’re 👎 a real 😩 LENINGRAD 🇷🇺 LINDSEY 👴 if you 🫵 get 5️⃣ back 🍑 you’re 😂 a certified ✅ GRAHAM 🍞 CRACKER 😳 and if 😩 you get 🔟 back 📩 you’re a 😳 FULL 🍆 🍑 BLOWN 🌬️ LADY

[Ed Rose @ESRosebud]

This was legit the tweet that I found out from, I'll never leave this app man

[Jordan Allen @j_allen61]

Two lifelong advocates against the progression of American people’s wellbeing are dead?

Dance on their graves and don’t give their names the light of day

[ettingermentum @ettingermentum]

LINDSEY GRAHAM IS DEAD AND MITCH MCCONNELL IS DEAD!

[Jordan Allen @j_allen61]

Rest in piss!

[Pop Base @PopBase]

U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina) has died at the age of 71.

[scott @knowndoghater]

Moving into a new apartment is all about spending about $30,000 in one single month

[🐢✨America Is Musty✨🐢 @DragonflyJonez]

“Yall really be hating ppl on here just for their tweets?” aye look man we all been on this mf for 19 years. Everyone here is at least 53 years old now. What you tweet like is who you are.

[It’s Keaton! @EvilKeaton]

We should immortalize Johnny Knoxville into the American Folkore Canon. He should be a trickster that roamed the country and pranking those who did wrong.

[NHL @NHL]

Undrafted
111 AHL games
NHL debut at 27 years old

Brandon Bussi is now a #StanleyCup champion 👏

Never give up on your dreams...

[B/R Open Ice @BR_OpenIce]

The Carolina Hurricanes: 16-3 in the playoffs, swept two rounds, won a round in 5, won a round in 6, team captain won MVP

The New York Knicks: 16-3 in the playoffs, swept two rounds, won a round in 5, won a round in 6, team captain won MVP

[SportsCenter @SportsCenter]

A STORM THAT COULDN'T BE WEATHERED🌪️

The Carolina Hurricanes have won the Stanley Cup for the first time in 20 years ‼️

[Scott Dupree @dsdupree]

The @Canes are the only NHL franchise to accomplish each of the following this century:

* Win 2 Stanley Cups
* 3+ Stanley Cup Finals
* 7+ conference finals
* Host NHL Entry Draft
* Host NHL All-Star Weekend
* Host an NHL outdoor game

Raleighwood: North America's Hockey Capital

[jim smith @WrestlingIsNeat]

@Grey_Athena

[HLTCO @HLTCO]

That camera pan out is insane. Wow.

[Malachi© @problemochile]

MAMDANISTAN NIGGAA

[subscribe to the state of the league patreon @JoestarJokic]

15-1 in their last 16 I wonder what threw a wrench into things that one game

[hunter @hunter_hhhh]

actually hilarious the only game the knicks lost is the one trump was at