JB Parrett

Studying to take the Turing test.

[JB Parrett @jaaabeee]

So this happened tonight #NHwx #StormHour

[Bill Prady ⚛️ Now at 🦋 @billprady]

Newspapers owned by @Gannett refused to publish this @DoonesburyComic strip this past Sunday.

Make sure everyone sees it.

[JB Parrett @jaaabeee]

Great Bay as the final line of clouds moved through this afternoon. #nhwx

[JB Parrett @jaaabeee]

@ObsoleteEvil @NavalInstitute ships when the phone rang and it was for the JW’s CO, telling him about the accident. Will never forget the look on his face. I recall that the torpedo also hit his car on the pier.

[JB Parrett @jaaabeee]

@ObsoleteEvil @NavalInstitute This is true. I was the SCO on Antrim FFG-20 and Jack Williams, Flatley, and Antrim had just returned from a 7-month Persian Gulf deployment when this happened. We’d been back a week or two and were having a post-deployment briefing in our wardroom with the officers from the

[JB Parrett @jaaabeee]

@jasonrowphoto

[JB Parrett @jaaabeee]

@PhotoRose1997 #followfriday

[JB Parrett @jaaabeee]

@digiziz @dr_cintas Not showing up in mine either. I asked for an image and it says it will do it and then...nothing.

[JB Parrett @jaaabeee]

@jasonrowphoto White Island Light, Isles of Shoals, NH

[JB Parrett @jaaabeee]

@jasonrowphoto White Island Light, Isles of Shoals, NH

[BaseballHistoryNut @nut_history]

Someone made a baseball movie montage and it actually deserves an Oscar. Thank you to whoever made this.

[Ben Wexler @mrbenwexler]

I think it’s cool how Elon turned twitter from something where you could see what friends & trusted sources were saying in real time into something where you can see what random idiots were saying 19 hours ago

[CALL TO ACTIVISM @CalltoActivism]

This is a beautiful letter from Fiona Apple explaining to her fans why she must postpone a concert date.

I am impressed at the way she was instantly able to make the decision to choose love over her career. Indeed, the world needs more of this.

Enjoy the story...

“It's 6pm on Friday, and I'm writing to a few thousand friends I have not met yet. I'm writing to ask them to change our plans and meet a little while later.

Here's the thing.

I have a dog, Janet, and she's been ill for about 2 years now, as a tumor has been idling in her chest, growing ever so slowly. She's almost 14 years old now. I got her when she was 4 months old. I was 21 then — an adult, officially — and she was my kid.

She is a pitbull, and was found in Echo Park, with a rope around her neck, and bites all over her ears and face.

She was the one the dogfighters use to puff up the confidence of the contenders.

She's almost 14 and I've never seen her start a fight, or bite, or even growl, so I can understand why they chose her for that awful role. She's a pacifist.

Janet has been the most consistent relationship of my adult life, and that is just a fact. We've lived in numerous houses, and joined a few makeshift families, but it's always really been just the two of us.

She slept in bed with me, her head on the pillow, and she accepted my hysterical, tearful face into her chest, with her paws around me, every time I was heartbroken, or spirit-broken, or just lost, and as years went by, she let me take the role of her child, as I fell asleep, with her chin resting above my head.

She was under the piano when I wrote songs, barked any time I tried to record anything, and she was in the studio with me, all the time we recorded the last album.

The last time I came back from tour, she was spry as ever, and she's used to me being gone for a few weeks, every 6 or 7 years.

She has Addison's Disease, which makes it more dangerous for her to travel, since she needs regular injections of Cortisol, because she reacts to stress and excitement without the physiological tools which keep most of us from literally panicking to death.

Despite all this, she's effortlessly joyful & playful, and only stopped acting like a puppy about 3 years ago. She is my best friend, and my mother, and my daughter, my benefactor, and she's the one who taught me what love is.

I can't come to South America. Not now. When I got back from the last leg of the US tour, there was a big, big difference.

She doesn't even want to go for walks anymore.

I know that she's not sad about aging or dying.

Animals have a survival instinct, but a sense of mortality and vanity, they do not. That's why they are so much more present than people.

But I know she is coming close to the time where she will stop being a dog, and start instead to be part of everything. She'll be in the wind, and in the soil, and the snow, and in me, wherever I go.

I just can't leave her now, please understand. If I go away again, I'm afraid she'll die and I won't have the honor of singing her to sleep, of escorting her out.
Sometimes it takes me 20 minutes just to decide what socks to wear to bed.

But this decision is instant.

These are the choices we make, which define us. I will not be the woman who puts her career ahead of love & friendship.

I am the woman who stays home, baking Tilapia for my dearest, oldest friend. And helps her be comfortable and comforted and safe and important.

I need to do my damnedest, to be there for that.

Because it will be the most beautiful, the most intense, the most enriching experience of life I've ever known.

When she dies.

So I am staying home, and I am listening to her snore and wheeze, and I am revelling in the swampiest, most awful breath that ever emanated from an angel. And I'm asking for your blessing.
I'll be seeing you.

Love,
Fiona”

[JB Parrett @jaaabeee]

Ultimate Outdoor Giveaway https://t.co/xyf2O3LjK2

[RC deWinter @RCdeWinter]

A grammar book walks into a bar

* An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

* A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

* A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

* An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

* Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

* A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intents and purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

* Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

* A question mark walks into a bar?

* A non sequitur walks into a bar.
In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

* Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

* A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

* A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

* Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

* A synonym strolls into a tavern.

* At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

* A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

* Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

* A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

* An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

* The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

* A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

* The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

* A dyslexic walks into a bra.

* A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

* A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

* A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

* A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony .

– Jill Thomas Doyle

[TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) @TechnicallyRon]

I took 1 star reviews of #Barbie from furious men on letterboxd and put them on the posters because it makes the film seem ever cooler.

[Men in Blazers @MenInBlazers]

Ahead of their game with Sweden tonight, cannot stop thinking about South African Keeper Andile "Sticks" Dlamini explaining concept of Ubuntu. 🇿🇦

“Giving praise to the next person when they do good, shaking your opponents’ hands after a match, whether you’ve lost or won. And when you’ve done something wrong, apologize, you know, even to the referee because they also make mistakes. They’re human. Allow people to be human because we're not perfect. And also see where you can help out. That’s the spirit of Ubuntu.”

World needs more Ubuntu ❤️

[Karen Finney @finneyk]

That part:

[Jesse McLaren @McJesse]

Why did humans stop making constellations? What's stopping us from pointing at a pattern of stars and going "that's Cher."

[Krister Johnson @KristerJohnson]

What Elon doesn't understand about his "$8/month for herpes" offer is that nobody's hung up on the cost, the big issue is the herpes