🚨 BREAKING: Trump signed a deal giving $1.6 billion to Kaz Resources.
Just days before the deal was signed, his sons bought a 20% stake in the company.
Galatians 5:13 For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
A GOP politician – pick your favorite – died and ended up standing in front of the pearly gates.
Saint Peter looked at him, flicked through his book and found his name.
"So, you were a GOP politician,” said Saint Peter.
“Well, yes, is that a problem?" The man asked.
“Oh no, no problem, answered Saint Peter. “But we've recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work and unfortunately you will have to spend a day in Hell.”
After that however, you're free to choose where you want to spend eternity,” Saint Peter replied.
"Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell??" Demanded the politician.
"Them's the rules,” answered Saint Peter,clicked his fingers, and WOOMPH, the guy disappeared.
He awoke curled up with his hands over his eyes, knowing he was in Hell. He listened for screams, sniffed the air for brimstone…Just the smell of…is that fabric softener? And cut grass.
"Open your eyes!" said a voice. "C'mon, wakey wakey, we've only got 24 hours!" Nervously, the politician uncovered his eyes, looked around and saw he was in a hotel room. A nice one too – a penthouse suite with a smiling man in a suit, holding a martini.
"Who are you?” politician demanded.
Well, I'm Satan!" said the man, handing him the drink and helping him to his feet. "Welcome to Hell!" "
“Wait, this is Hell? But... Where's all the pain and suffering?" the guy asked.
Satan threw him a wink.
“Oh, we've been a bit mis-represented over the years, it's a long story. Anyway, this is your room. The minibar is of course free, as is the room service, there are extra towels next to the hot tub and if you need anything, just call reception. But enough of this!
“It's a beautiful day, and if you'd care to look outside..." Slightly stunned by the opulent surroundings, the man wandered over to the floor-to-ceiling windows, looked down and saw a group of people cheering and waving at him from a golf course.
"It's one of 5 pro-level courses on site, and there are another 6 just a few minutes’ drive out past the beach and harbor,” said Satan, answering his unasked question.
They headed down in the lift and walked out into the lobby, where everyone waved and welcomed the man as Satan signed autographs and talked shop with the staff.
A the man walked out, he saw the group on the golf course was made up of of his old friends, people he'd admired for years but never met or worked with, and people whose work he admired but who died long before his career started.
Out of the middle of the group group came his wife, with a smile and the body she had when she was 25. She threw her arms around him and planted a delicate kiss on his cheek. Everyone cheered and his worst political enemy showed up as a 2 foot tall goblin-esque caddy
He spent the day on the golf course, having the time of his life, laughing at jokes and carrying on important discussions,while holding his wife next to him.
Later they returned to the hotel for dinner and had an enormous meal, perfectly cooked, which descended into a food-fight when someone threw a bread roll at the next table (where Ghandi was having a game of truth-or-dare with Marilyn Monroe).
Not long after he and his wife returned to their suite and spend the rest of the night making love like they did on their honeymoon. After 3 hours of intense passion he fell asleep, wrapped in the 100% Egyptian cotton sheets.
He was awakened by Saint Peter.
"So, that was Hell. Wasn't what you were expecting, I bet?"
“No sir!" said the man.
L
“So then," said Saint Peter, “make your choice. It's Hell, which you saw, or Heaven, which has choral singing, talking to God, white robes, and so on.”
“Well...I know this sounds strange, but on balance, I think I'd prefer Hell,” said the politician.
"Not a problem, we totally understand! Enjoy!" said Saint Peter, and clicked his fingers again.
BREAKING: CNN just aired a devastating montage of all the times that Donald Trump accused others of using their public office to make money. Donald Trump's net worth has almost tripled since he took office. Everything he accuses others of is an open admission.
Tyler Herro saying he had no help is crazy work…
I witnessed Bam Adebayo and Jimmy Butler go to war together during the playoffs while Herro was sitting on the bench.
13 & 22 kept our franchise alive for multiple years.
Still grateful for the opportunity to talk about this team and the NBA every day. I had no idea (no one did!) that this was going to eventually become the network we have today, but I’m so glad to have been a part of it from Day 1 and to keep doing what I love. Here’s to 10 more!
Then Jesus said unto the sick, “you better have insurance.”
Then Jesus said unto the stranger, “are you here legally?”
Then Jesus said unto the hungry, “my taxes better not be paying for these loaves and fishes.”
Then Jesus said unto the poor, “this is your own fault.”