JACK

cartoon character. i sweat a lot. enjoy my chirps.

[JACK @jack_hammered]

oh my .... dear lord

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luxury stuff

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@killthenoise fine but your track with feed me will never be topped

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every time i even read the words 'salt bae' i think about doing something aggressively hateful like going to grad school

[JACK @jack_hammered]

super chill

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this bartender was telling me how she had to move because rent was too high. 'i've never seen $4000 in one month, except maybe on the sims. just kidding, she's broke too'

[JACK @jack_hammered]

hmm. yea he's still getting played. but this time, by an LA girl

[out of context the white lotus @oocwhitelotus]

Adam DiMarco photographed by Michelle G. Gonzales for VMAN

[JACK @jack_hammered]

@billyjarrettugh @thesixtwojew thought of u

[JACK @jack_hammered]

@heybillierae @Gail_5

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'hey arnold!': arnold's christmas (1996)

[JACK @jack_hammered]

@robbiegoodwin love wildboyz

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what the holiday season should be about:

-giving back to your community
-having productive conversations with family and friends
-a cocktail every once and while

what the holiday season has been like for me:

-i have acquired a gut

[JACK @jack_hammered]

i was just going to tweet about ted maltin from 'jingle all the way' being a quintessential christmas movie villain (horrible neighbor, tries to steal your wife, etc) and then i remembered he was murdered by his wife irl.

rip phil hartman

[JACK @jack_hammered]

@rundizzy @Gail_5

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@SandyFrizzle @thesixtwojew

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@thesixtwojew niche stl joke. this guy i tell ya

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yes rosie i'm home for christmas

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@KayzoMusic i liked it. sosie bacon was greattt

[JACK @jack_hammered]

my favorite instagram status by far is 'new post.' like you found yet another way to highlight your latest, subpar 'post.'

thank you

[JACK @jack_hammered]

welcome to stl

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call her an nyc airport around the holidays the way she makes me genuinely upset