Jacob Brooks

Augustana Alum

[Pizza Hut @pizzahut]

start diggin in yo hut twin

[Fox News @FoxNews]

Florida police responded to a burglary — only to find the suspect already detained by a real-life caped crusader.

The man in Batman pajamas says his home security cameras alerted him, and he sprang into action. He told the would-be burglar, 'Don't try to get away. I have plenty of experience with this.'

[Facts matter @1800factsmatter]

Man jailed after fighting 3 college kids who shot his dog 40 times.

When three college kids returned home on break, they used BB guns for target practice on a neighbor’s dog shooting him more than 40 times. The punishment? A fine and community service…

The dog’s owner couldn’t accept it. He stormed over to their house and challenged all three at once. “Fight someone your own size,” he told them.What they didn’t know, he was a black belt in jujutsu. By the time police arrived, the kids were bloodied and brokenlesson learned. The man left in handcuffs, but with a smile on his face.

He’ll spend 30 days in prison. His dog is recovering at his mother’s home. When asked why, he said simply:
“Kids need to learn there are consequences to their actions.”

[i like food @messedupfoods]

Something bad is about to happen

[Trad West @trad_west_]

The New York Post just made a post claiming the Shroud of Turin is fake.
They're wrong.

A X-ray study re-dated it at 2,000 years old, but that’s onlythe tip of the Iceberg.

Science can not explain it.

Strap in fellas This is why the Holy Shroud of Turin is real - a🧵

[Midwest Rebel | AP @APBear76]

My neighbor: “your yard is getting a little unruly”

Me: “oh I’m sorry, I only work 70 hour weeks with one day off. I haven’t had the time with it being 700 degrees out”

My neighbor: “you should really take care of it before someone complains”

Me: “yeah wouldn’t want some annoying ass neighbor to come bother me about it….”

Fuck off Delores.

[Chase Passive Income @chasedownleads]

10-year old kid knocked on my door

Offered to mow my lawn for $20

I love encouraging young entrepreneurs

So I hired him to mow all 10 houses on my block

Paid him $200. He was grinning ear-to-ear.

Then I charged each neighbor $125 for a "premium lawncare service"

I made a $1,050 profit by arbitraging labor

Welcome to capitalism, kid

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

Only the Browns

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

As it becomes clear that @DOGE is working, you will see the long-term Treasury bill yields fall.

And all Americans will benefit from lower interest payments on mortgages, small business debt, credit card and other loans.

[Flappr @flapprdotnet]

Smoke 'em if you got 'em boys.

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

BREAKING: Biden administration has officially withdrawn student loan forgiveness plans, per CNBC.

[Scarlett Johnson @scarlett4kids]

🚨BREAKING: A boy is now allowed to change in the girls' locker room at Westosha Central High School in Wisconsin.

-He stares at the young girls while they change
-He exposes his p-nis and rubs himself with lotion
-He claims to the girls that the lotion is to “prevent chafing”

[Upstate Federalist @upstatefederlst]

Hey what happens if the shirt is made in the US for $20?

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

SAQUON REINVENTS THE GAME WITH A BACKWARDS HURDLE

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Excellent summary of the lawfare case against @realDonaldTrump that was just crushed by the NY Appellate.

Incredibly sensible questions by appellate judges had me in stitches 🤣🤣

American justice system for the W.

https://t.co/zOH5czinBf

[Bears Nation @BearsNationCHI]

All of Devin Hesters returns on one field.

This is sick. https://t.co/AzdcVxACFW

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

I fully endorse President Trump and hope for his rapid recovery

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Last night the GOAT Tom Brady delivered an unforgettable speech about football

[Will Compton @_willcompton]

😂😂😂😂😂

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

Burger King workers now have to give you a crown and say "you rule," per Bloomberg.