jacob

[𝘎𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘺 🇨🇩 @Renegade1k]

Funniest nigga ever man

[Cosas de mamadores @EsDeMamador]

Qué lindos son los penales, la puta madre. Todo en la vida debería definirse por penales. La ley del aborto...por penales. Te quiere coger un travesti?... tres penales cada uno, y así.

[JayO D. Sama @LikelyTarnished]

Official word from Unc. It’s over.

[L @Patrickmuweng3]

Real life humans got that cape verde keeper to 13 mil followers

[Matías Conde @mmcr85]

Una sola falta de Cabo Verde, Opta tiene datos de los mundiales desde Inglaterra 1966 y es el registro de faltas más bajo desde entonces.

Hay más data de España en @OptaJose

[Jake. @YedIin]

If you’re not willing to sacrifice your sleep schedule for the World Cup then you’re simply not taking advantage of your one life on earth

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@Kenneth_Belkin Do I look like I’m a part of the elite oligarch class. This was taken at a super 8 motel off I95 by the way.

[- @heruarchives]

one of the greatest football twts ever

[TK @TeaKupps]

He’s lowkey one of the funniest human beings to have ever lived

[Negligible Capital @negligible_cap]

The name of the company… NewBird AI. It is a cutting-edge, AI-native cloud infrastructure firm out of- well, they used to be out of San Francisco making sneakers, but forget that, John- they are now awaiting imminent deployment of next-generation GPU compute clusters that have both massive enterprise and consumer applications. Now, right now, John, the stock trades on the Nasdaq at about the price of a cup of coffee. And by the way, John, our analysts indicate it could go a heck of a lot higher than that. And John- one more thing- they're up 160% just today

[Alex Hochuli 🧉🎙️🤯📉 @Alex__1789]

I've said it before: what makes the current age feel particularly desperate is that people's apolitical pleasures and pastimes are colonised to an unprecedented degree.

Subsumed by professionalisation, measurement & calculation, the content industry and competitive fandom, or just simply profiteering. Football exemplifies all these perfectly.

[B. @InvertTheWing]

The dream scenario. Ange has already been appointed, but for morale reasons, they are waiting until the Liverpool loss to announce it.

It gets announced to distract from the result. Tottenham fans around the world are in awe. The Tottenham Hotspur Stadium sells out ahead of the Champions League game.

3 goal deficit. Only one came man can do it. Audere est facere.

“I’m loving Big Ange instead” echoing around the stadium. The celebrity supporters like Tom Holland, Adele, Lil Wayne, AJ Tracey all in the stands.

Kick off.

We witness prime Ange Ball, in a do or die manner. Djed Spence finding his best form finally being allowed to play his natural game, inverting, and Porro returning to his early 23/24 form.

Minute 2, Solanke misses a tap in from a corner, and Oblak plays a long ball. Alvarez is through on goal. Or is he!? Micky Van De Ven comes back from the opposition box and puts one of the best recovery tackles the Champions League has ever seen. HE IS BACK!

Everyone else is still up, and Vicario rushes out to mop up Van De Ven’s challenge, he plays it long, and is successful.

Solanke flicks it onto Cristian Romero, who is still in the box. 1-0.

The stadium ERUPTS! 2 goal deficit with 88 minutes to play. The camera pans to Tom Holland and Zendaya celebrating. But no celebrating from the captain, as he grabs the ball and rushes back to the halfway line.

Atletico simply cannot get the ball. For the next 43 minutes, Tottenham dominate the ball. 82% possession.

Until the last kick before half time. Xavi Simons receives the ball surrounded by 3 players, and he turns away from all of them, and plays through Mathys Tel who is making a wide run.

Tel fires in a potent cross, to find Kolo Muani at the back post.

2-0.

Half time.

At half time, Ange gives one of his iconic speeches, and gives a flashback to his Europa run, how they have came back from much worse.

1st minute of the half, GOAL! Pape Matar Sarr from the edge of the box!

3-0. Atletico Madrid are shaking.

But, that would not be enough. It goes to extra time.

119th minute. Micky Van De Ven gets cramp, right before a set piece. He has to come off.

Do Tottenham risk conceding on the counter? Atletico have 3 bodies forward.

No. Audere est facere.

Ju’nai Byfield, the man who comes on. Corner taken by Pedro Porro.

GOAL!!!!!!!! IT FINDS THE HEAD OF JU’NAI BYFIELD, WHO FINISHES OFF ONE OF THE GREATEST COMEBACKS IN CHAMPIONS LEAGUE HISTORY!

The stadium erupts. But no crazy celebration from Ange. Just a pump of the fist, and hug to Byfield at full time.

He knows the job isn’t finished. He tells the team to turn attention to Forest on the weekend.

Nottingham Forest comes. Into added time, 0-0. 76% possession, 3.43xG, 0 goals. Articles start coming out before the game even finishes, saying Ange Postecoglou’s going to drag Tottenham into a relegation battle.

That is until the last kick of the game. Forest have 11 men in their box. The final kick of the game.

Pedro Porro takes one of his long shots, as a last minute effort.

The ball hits Morgan Gibbs White….

…. INTO HIS OWN NET! GOAL! TOTTENHAM HAVE GOT A CRUCIAL 3 POINTS!

The camera pans to Marinakis. Then Ange, celebrating the most he has in his career. He does a pitch invasion.

“I’m Loving Big Ange Instead” plays after the game.

[𝖭𝖤𝖮 @ykneo_]

The average spurs game

[Mfalsafa @mfalsafa_]

Ugarte €60m mate…

[Otto Von Tweetmarck @OVTweetmarck]

>A video of an egg roll shitting a spring roll into a fryer
Hollywood's done

[OGi 🐐 @BCNOgi]

French people got the worst fits in the history of the universe

[𝙼𝚘𝙼Ⓐ𝖕𝖘𝖋𝖎𝖛𝖊™ @interracials3x]

Iranian women before the Islamic revolution

[Alex @midsmoker34]

Just as I suspected.. Japanese selvedge denim. The mark of a true pervert