Jacob Koetsier

Just a low-pro po-mo homo. He/him/his.

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@AbdulElSayed, I’m joyful to support you for MI Sen. As a native Michigander and proud UM grad, you represent the true Michigan spirit: industrious, innovative, impactful. From fresh water to fresh policy; you’ve only ever been here to help. No PAC money. No foreign ties. AES4MI.

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@richardlanaija @JayJurden @GianmarcoSoresi No one is so rich as to throw away a friend.

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@baobanger @JayJurden @GianmarcoSoresi First, he’s hilarious. He’s booked and blessed all over. Second, he’s an ally. Allies get to be sexy and lusty and any other way they come. No one is so rich as to throw away a friend.

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@JayJurden @GianmarcoSoresi Mostly I’m just thinking about how hairy @GianmarcoSoresi’s hole must be. Do you need a scythe? I sold my watch to get him that asshole comb and all I got was this chain.

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@jldnnyc @JayJurden @GianmarcoSoresi I don’t think being a real ally is queer baiting.

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@JayJurden @GianmarcoSoresi The couple that hasn’t really agreed on what’s okay to do at the bathhouse. Oh, THAT’S on the table? And it’s an option?

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@DailyMail That’s a real person’s name and NOT a Scooby Doo villain who’s been secretly undermining the gang’s bake sale? Zoinks

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@shannonrwatts @Mikel_Jollett RWLBS

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@HomerPavlos Get Agrippa, amirite?

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@QuakerGirlsRule @HomerPavlos These aren’t even good reproductions of amphorae. They’re likely made in China or Taiwan. Get Agrippa

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@HomerPavlos Sir, this is a Wendy’s. So, what? One baconator or two? Sorry, we don’t have lamb burgers.

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@chrisfairbanks I was listening to you talk about painting murals and time management on DYNAR and wanted to share an aphorism that’s really helped me along those lines: don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@RubenGallego @SenRubenGallego This rent stabilization Sexy Ewok can get it, for sure.

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@DMCG46883927 @AmoneyResists @phillipsd449 He’s nowhere near 100. It was not a secret. It was widely reported. I’m a far left Democrat btw. You people are - irrespective of political valence - just profoundly gullible and stupid

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@AmoneyResists @jcarole How many statement from electeds do you think are “written by” them. You’re a profoundly naive dilettante.

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@tylerhmead Snoochie boochie

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@HouseGOP @GOP where exactly do you fall when it comes to those credibly accused of sexual assault and domestic violence: Cory Mills @RepMillsPress, Chuck Edwards @RepChuckEdwards, and Max Miller @RepMaxMiller? No one has a monopoly on decency, so at least call out your perps.

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@RepGregSteube What an absolute dullard. It’s a tough call on the stupidest members of Congress, but thinking that one could be “sworn in” without actually swearing in, truly passes understanding. Next, let’s pass a bill ensuring water remains wet. Wet water is the American way. No to dry water

[Jacob Koetsier @jacobkoetsier]

@SenAdamSchiff Buzz off? Instead of getting a politico twink to run social media, it appears you’ve hired my dead grandma Dorothy.