jacred

garabartista

[jacred @jacredgator]

@turbomander come home

[Gale Na @poisonjr]

It's no surprise to me I am a gross anemone

Cause every now and then a fish will live in and swim outta me

[jake @wormpuller]

Smoked the weed that drags me back in time to the exact moment I bought paralyzer by finger eleven on iTunes for my iPod nano

[mansta online @ everything @estrodiol]

imagining mother 3 chapters as yearly serial releases and laughing at what people would've said when for an entire chapter you were playing a monkey flinging dung around and dancing and then you had to wait 2 years for the next one

[Alice Mills @millsalice144]

The earliest humans to walk aimlessly were called Meanderthals

[AnotherOne @stupidmcon]

I MADE THIS DURING THE DIRECT FUCK MY #CHUDLIFE

[Azur/Reker @warnoodle00]

Sometimes the big dog (me) needs a pup cup (25 beers)

[AJ @ajdeluxe_]

Every time I visit my parent’s church I’m gagged by the body + blood coffee creamer style communion combo. So smart. Like when big yogurt put toppings inside the lid. They should do this with soups and sandwiches. Or teddy grahams and gas station cappuccinos (specific to me)

[Dr. Crud (smells great) @RaptorBreath]

i hope that someone gets my
i hope that someone gets my
i hope that someone gets my hotdog in a bottle, yeah
hotdog in a bottle, yeah

[🄰yay ꩜ cuddylicious @DE4DRINGERS]

on a serious note some of you need to download this app bc the way you’re so quick to dismiss the queer identities you don’t understand is not cute

[machine yearning engineer @confusionm8trix]

so funny when people say “it might rain.” that’s just always true. it always might rain

[A @seattleiminyou]

What hanging with the girls this summer is going to feel like

[fredesque @FredTaming]

[to no one 9 hours after unwrapping and stacking 12 tons of kit kats like gold bars in my garage] welcome to fort chox

[kill 3 things @WRXGOON]

what if instead of normal maps they were called crazy maps and they fucking killed you

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

i am so annoying [remembering i’m supposed to engage in positive self-talk] i am so GOOD at being annoying

[PERVERTBALLMASTER3000 @snqper]

I feel like a pedophile if im eating a slightly green banana

[Prosto @PRST_BLT]

Your bad ideas are the ATM.

[corvo @chipferin]

probably the guy who’s got his dick to my butt

[sojujinbutsu @EdgarPoop1]

[first time at a Texas Roadhouse]

*sees people walking on peanuts*

my floor d'oeuvres!

[jacred @jacredgator]

@turboghosto italian