my cat has been ramming his head into my boobs a lot lately and i've read stories about how pets sometimes warn their owners of cancerous tumors using the same method so i went to the doctor and got checked and found out that my cat is just a pervert
today a woman saw me buying flowers for my girlfriend and she said to me "where do i find one like you" and i told her “right here”, because besides being romantic i'm also unfaithful