jalbinlarson

She’s into malakas, Dino.

[vampire workday @imbobswaget]

sisqo talking about his inspiration for writing the thong song simply one of the best things i’ve ever heard

[Jesse Fernandez @JesseFernandez]

Fact: The birthing method, Caesarian section, is named after Little Caesars pizza restaurant, which originally opened as an OBGYN but pivoted to pizza after accidentally buying many pizza ovens.

[jalbinlarson @jalbinlarson]

@jim__parker @chuckebsDC @oeste Dwight Evans

[jalbinlarson @jalbinlarson]

@chuckebsDC @jim__parker @oeste Steve Balboni

[C.J. Toledano @CJToledano]

An underrated exchange in Wayne’s World that always makes me laugh. RIP Mike Hagerty.

[Mary Divine @MaryEDivine]

Today's poem is Danez Smith's "I'm Going Back to Minnesota Where Sadness Makes Sense."

[Darren Richman @darrenrichman]

100 years old, a perfect joke

[kim @KimmyMonte]

gimme yule
gimme fire
don me now with gay attire

[jalbinlarson @jalbinlarson]

@matthewbarbee @naturallight If I had a cooler like that, I would never not be partying.

[jalbinlarson @jalbinlarson]

@SethTweets @twinsdaily Assuming they were eligible for the list, where do Larnach & Kirrilloff rank in here?

[jalbinlarson @jalbinlarson]

Batman.

[jalbinlarson @jalbinlarson]

On a goat farm in the Black Hills that has a huge black llama named Batman, who is not to be trifled with. Batman kills coyotes and I’ve been warned it’s not pretty. My contact w/ Batman will be brief and from a distance. But there will be contact.

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

Doing “In The Meantime” by Spacehog at karaoke but just singing the bass line.

[kim @KimmyMonte]

that’s me in the corner
that’s me in the spotlight
smoking with my chicken

[jalbinlarson @jalbinlarson]

@StrusJuice I didn’t know you were in Tahoe for the game. Pony looks great, bro.

[Spittin' Chiclets @spittinchiclets]

Stevey Y weed patrol out in full effect #NHLOutdoors

[USA Hockey @usahockey]

FILTHIEST thing you'll see today, courtesy of Little Caesars' Elyssa Biederman 😱

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

Here’s my statement on today’s violence at the Capitol.

[kristofer thomas @kristoferthomas]

what if god came down to earth and said “it’s pronounced jod” and left

[jalbinlarson @jalbinlarson]

@matthewbarbee And all his high kicks

[jalbinlarson @jalbinlarson]

I always forget Ringo was there. #TheLastWaltz