HANDICAP CHAIR: Steady, friends. Tonight we sail toward fairness… toward a nation where any two golfers can wager two dollars with mathematical dignity.
GOLFER: Sir, how will we know our dignity?
HANDICAP CHAIR: By a number. We shall call it a Handicap Index. The average of your best eight of the last twenty scores.
GOLFER: Why eight?
HANDICAP CHAIR: Because nine is chaos and seven is anarchy.
GOLFER: And if I’ve posted fewer than twenty scores?
HANDICAP CHAIR: Then a lookup table chooses for you. Sometimes it is two. Sometimes it is three. Never ask why.
GOLFER: How is the Handicap Index calculated, sir?
HANDICAP CHAIR: With a Score Differential. You take your adjusted gross, subtract the Course Rating, subtract the PCC, multiply by 113, and divide by Slope.
GOLFER: Why 113?
HANDICAP CHAIR: Nobody knows.
GOLFER: The “PCC,” sir?
HANDICAP CHAIR: The Playing Conditions Calculation. Each night, statisticians decide if your differential should be adjusted.
GOLFER: Will the PCC make sense to golfers, Sir?
HANDICAP CHAIR: Not a chance.
GOLFER: Suppose I make a nine on a par-4, must I post the full score?
HANDICAP CHAIR: No! For posting, the maximum is Net Double Bogey: Par + 2 + the strokes you receive on that hole.
GOLFER: What if my partner conceded my putt in match play?
HANDICAP CHAIR: You record your most likely score... what you would have nobly holed, unless it exceeds Net Double Bogey, in which case it did not happen. Mathematics insists.
GOLFER: And if I only play nine holes today?
HANDICAP CHAIR: Then the system shall summon your expected self to finish the back nine. Your expected self is very steady. He always shoots net par on the back.
GOLFER: How do I turn my Index into the strokes I actually get on the course?
HANDICAP CHAIR: The Course Handicap of course! Which is Handicap Index × (Slope/113) + (Course Rating - Par).
GOLFER: …and then that’s what I play off?
HANDICAP CHAIR: Perhaps. In singles stroke play, you shall receive 95%. In four-ball, 85%. In alternate shot, your souls shall be combined and 50% shall be bestowed. In greensomes, 60% of the lower + 40% of the higher. A recipe handed down by the ancients.
GOLFER: Why these percentages?
HANDICAP CHAIR: Because we are free men.
GOLFER: And if I start slumping?
HANDICAP CHAIR: Fear not. The soft cap slows any rise more than 3.0 above your Low HI. Should you plunge further, the hard cap stops the bleeding at +5.0. Your pride will go no higher.
GOLFER: And if I suddenly shoot seven better than my Index?
HANDICAP CHAIR: Then the Exceptional Score Reduction smites your record by 1 shot (or 2 shots if ten better). This is mercy disguised as punishment.
GOLFER: How often will I actually play to my number?
HANDICAP CHAIR: About one day in five. The other four you shall share excuses after the round.
GOLFER: One last thing, sir. If I play from different tees than my opponent?
HANDICAP CHAIR: Add the difference in par to the higher par tee and carry on. If you forget, simply argue on the 17th tee like our forefathers.
GOLFER: I confess, I’m confused sir.
HANDICAP CHAIR: Do not fear confusion. Embrace it. For tonight we create a world where a friend asks, “What’d you shoot?” and you reply, “I posted 87, net 74, PCC +2, CH 11, PH 10 at 95%, capped, no ESR”
AI in Teaching and Learning with @jamcglone74 and KCU teacher prep students was the perfect way to start this Wednesday. The future looks bright for KY classrooms! 🤩
Snow problem is no problem thanks to our wonderful indoor facility! Nothing like walking in from the cold weather to practice shots on one of our two sim bays at a sunny course, maybe a nice round at Pebble Beach, putting practice, or even hanging out in our lounge area! 🐻
Our 2025 Golf Benefit Raffle is now underway! Contact your favorite Men’s Golf player or coach, chances are $10 each. Deadline to purchase chances will be 5pm on March 3rd. Contact Coach Reinstetle if you have any questions at [email protected]
“Failing schools” are largely a myth, because schools only explain 10-20% of student achievement.
Part of the problem is that we measure “achievement” and “growth” in ways that are not responsive to instruction.
Here’s what I mean…
Our Annual Benefit Raffle is now underway! Checkout our awesome prizes this year. You don’t want to miss out on a chance to win these! Contact your favorite Men’s Golf player or coach to get chances. Chances are unlimited, deadline and drawing is May 2nd @ 2pm
🚨Spring '24 Schedule🚨
This spring semester includes a trip down to Grand National GC in Oplieka, AL. As well as the revival of our tradition of hosting a spring event at Stonecrest GC! Go Bears! 🐻
Tournament 3 of the season! Alice Lloyd Fall Invite @ Stonecrest GC. All 12 players in action for this 36 hole tournament. Live scoring below via BirdieFire.
https://t.co/oFuEuU0Ver
Come out and see us tomorrow for the first tournament of the season! If you can't, use the QR code to follow the live scoring or catch some of the action on the UPIKE Sports Network!
Educators deserve respect & appreciation, not only today, but on all the other days.
Make respecting this profession in word, deed & belief the norm.
Otherwise, we might not have anyone left to make all other professions possible.
THANK A TEACHER.
@BluegrassGt@JuniorGolfKY@GolfHouseKY Thank you for playing a role in the development of Titus's as a person and his golf game! The last 6 years have been a blast.
Help us welcome Titus McGlone to the Bear family! Titus is a great student-athlete and will be another great leader to add on campus. We can’t wait to see what Titus brings to our team and campus culture. Go Bears! 🐻