jea

bad art / bad tweets

[jea @jamieeallen]

Manspreading hall of fame

[jea @jamieeallen]

Nothin quite like sprinting to make the train so you’re only 5 mins late to work as opposed to 15 only to get caught up at the turnstile bc your apple wallet card was frozen for suspected fraud. This city keeps you humble!!!!!!!!!

[jea @jamieeallen]

@kristoph @PlattDotArt @dvoshart @StabilityAI This is literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever read

[jea @jamieeallen]

Only someone from Long Island would reply “you rang?” to being called stanky. Y’all make it too easy 😩

[jea @jamieeallen]

Staten Island I knew you were musty but you showed your true colors tonight. Long Island…we see you and you stanky as well

[jea @jamieeallen]

Gen Z Style Icon

[jea @jamieeallen]

Ok I really want to practice “live and let live” but some of y’all look so unbelievably bad with bleached eye brows like please make it stop 😫😫😫😫at least tone them so they aren’t YELLOW goddamn

[jea @jamieeallen]

My psychiatrist lecturing me on the “dangers of marijuana” while refilling my Adderall no questions asked is truly the epitome of American healthcare

[jea @jamieeallen]

My fav IG girl is the one who makes a big statement about taking a break from socials bc shes sooooooo busy but then literally posting videos of her lunch & infographics the next day

[jea @jamieeallen]

For today’s example of “why in gods name do think this is a good place to stand” we see this couple blocking 1 of 2 tiny walkways on the subway platform. Why are they standing there when the rest of the station is virtually empty? No one can really say!

[jea @jamieeallen]

“No worries!! Totally understand!” I say to you as I’m a little worried and definitely do not understand

[jea @jamieeallen]

Cannot confirm nor deny this recent purchase

[jea @jamieeallen]

Also this is not directed at anyone in particular it’s more of a larger observation of wow damn we’ve never been on a beach together outside of Jacob Riis on our own volition. That was a weird realization!!

[jea @jamieeallen]

I love friends & family getting married & planning events but I swear to lord Johnny & I have never been on a vacation in 5! years! that hasn’t been dictated by someone else’s schedule & I’m just like….low key done taking time off for y’all & not us! Thank u for listening!!

[jea @jamieeallen]

Oh u can’t come to my bachelorette weekend and spend $1000 min to be in fuckin Nashville for 48 hrs? No I have limited free time allotted to breathe bc of capitalism & that time belongs to me not ur penis straws and weird matching shirts

[jea @jamieeallen]

& before anyone says “what was stopping u from planning a trip together?” obviously ✨monies✨ & not having it until recently & limited time off for whatever job I worked at the time. Note: ppl don’t get paid vacation time working gigs…odd that always had to be explained tho!

[sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩 @cottoncandaddy]

the new way I handle catcalling is just saying “what? what?” over and over because they will always slow down and repeat themselves louder and louder until they realize everybody’s been watching them fully yell “are you single” leaning halfway out the window for a straight minute

[jea @jamieeallen]

Millennial scholars are drowning in a lack of higher education positions meanwhile this woman who doesn’t know how to type on a pdf is probably tenured

[jea @jamieeallen]

Complaining on instagram about lack of sleep/money/time/space when you actively made the decision to have two children back to back is so embarrassing to me like no one forced you to do that 💀💀💀

[jea @jamieeallen]

“Thank u for picking me to be your mama” ma’am that baby had no say in the matter