BREAKING: Jimmy Kimmel just delivered the White House Correspondents' Dinner roast Trump was too scared to face — and it’s BRUTALLY HILARIOUS!
This year, the annual White House Correspondents' Dinner has abandoned its long-standing tradition of featuring a comedian to host the event and deliver a fiery roast of the incumbent president and their administration.
Given Donald Trump’s boycott of any dinner where he might have to face the slightest bit of mockery, it was the only way to get him to return to the scene of his previous humiliations, most notably from the rapier wit of Barack Obama back in 2011.
According to late-night host Jimmy Kimmel, Trump banned comedians from the Dinner because, as Kimmel put it, "our president is a delicate snowflake with the thinnest fat skin of any human being ever."
So, Kimmel did the roast anyway — presenting it as the Alternate White House Correspondents' Dinner from the "Trump Kimmel Center in Washington, DC" in a subtle jab at the MAGA alternate Super Bowl Halftime show.
It was everything Trump could possibly fear.
The opening of Kimmel’s faux routine set the tone immediately: "I haven't seen this much black since every page of the Trump Epstein files." He then began to skewer the narcissist-in-chief — and select members of his administration — with barbs designed to highlight every major character flaw that Trump pretends doesn’t exist
On Trump's ego: "The president didn't want me to tell any jokes about him tonight, but he also didn't want to pay me $130,000 to shut up. So here we are. Sorry, mushroom d**k."
On Trump's Jesus complex: "Every time he walks into a room, people say, 'Christ, he's back.' Who did your makeup? Kraft Singles?"
On Trump's legacy: "He passed new incentives for oil and gas. He put the brakes on solar and wind. That will be your legacy, sir — breaking wind and passing gas."
On Trump's Epstein connection: "30 years ago, you were just some rich guy on Jeffrey Epstein's private jet out of Teterboro. But you worked hard, stayed friends, shared some wonderful secrets. And because of that, you were able to fly on that plane seven more times. Dreams really do come true."
On Melania: "Mrs. Trump, you have a glow like an expectant widow. She's planning to celebrate her birthday at home, the same way she always does — looking out a window and whispering, 'What have I done?'" And: "Melania's documentary had a score of 10% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is a website named after her husband's testicles."
On Kash Patel: "Can we get Kash a vodka soda and a booster seat? I'm not saying Kash Patel has a problem, but his designated driver is Pete Hegseth."
On Pete Hegseth: "Pete's hair has more oil in it right now than the Strait of Hormuz. Later on, Pete's going to read us a Bible passage from Pulp Fiction, so stick around."
On RFK Jr.: "Years ago, he wrote in his diary that he pulled his car over to carve the penis out of a raccoon. His son asked why. He said, 'Because I'm a f---ing psychopath. Now get out of this car and go get measles.'"
Kimmel concluded his alternate reality roast by presenting another made-up award of the type that the insecure president loves so much: the "inaugural Burger King of Comedy Gold Award," which was presented to "Donald J. Leno Trump."
Trump may have gotten the White House Correspondents' Association to ban comedians at their annual dinner — but the comedy happened anyway, thanks to Jimmy Kimmel.
Please like and share this post if you think a president hiding from jokes is funnier than any joke a comedian could tell.
In 1581 the Dutch kicked out the King of Spain and declared themselves a republic
Thomas Jefferson had Dutch law books in his library; The Declaration of Independence follows the same structure
The Dutch created a female figure holding a lance topped with a cap of liberty
She appeared on Dutch coins by 1694: a century before America or France
The French called her Marianne
Bartholdi scaled her up and put her in New York Harbour
We built the image of liberty
Everyone else borrowed it
In 2014, Admiral William McRaven gave a 19-minute masterclass to 8,000 students on changing the world.
He led missions that changed history
His lessons:
• Never, ever ring the bell
• The little things matter
• Don’t fear the circuses
10 lessons from 36 years as a Navy SEAL:
Manager noticed one of his best employees resigning.
He was shocked.
Manager: "Why are you leaving so suddenly?"
Employee: "It’s not sudden. I stayed even when I was unhappy.
I stayed when my ideas were ignored.
I stayed when I wasn’t appreciated.
I stayed when growth opportunities never came."
Manager went silent.
Employee added: "I didn’t leave suddenly.
I left after giving up all hopes with this company."
Lessons:
Employees don’t quit overnight — they quit after being unheard for too long.
Appreciation and respect are stronger than salary.
Companies that don’t listen, eventually lose their best people.
Dear Leaders,
When a good employee leaves, it’s never because of one bad day.
It’s because of many ignored days.
We can do better in 2026
“Can I bring my baby to the interview?”
The message came in at 11 PM:
“Hi, I have an interview with you tomorrow at 2 PM. My childcare fell through. Can I bring my 8-month-old? I understand if you need to reschedule.”
Old me would have rescheduled.
Unprofessional. Distraction. Red flag.
New me replied:
“Absolutely. See you tomorrow.”
She showed up with her baby on her hip.
She apologized three times before even sitting down.
Ten minutes in, the baby started crying.
She tried to soothe him while answering questions.
She apologized again.
I stopped the interview and said:
“Hey. You’re managing a fussy baby, answering complex questions, and staying calm under pressure. That’s literally the job. Handling chaos while staying professional. You’re already proving you can do it.”
Her eyes filled with tears.
We hired her.
She’s been with us for a year now.
The most reliable team member we have.
Why?
Because when you’re used to handling a screaming infant at 3 AM and still showing up to work the next day, workplace stress feels like nothing.
Working parents, especially mothers, are some of the most organized, efficient, and resilient people you’ll ever hire.
Yet we lose them because our hiring processes are built for people with zero caregiving responsibilities.
If your interview process can’t accommodate a parent facing a childcare issue, you’re not filtering for professionalism.
You’re filtering for privilege.
We ontvangen veel vragen of het mogeljjk is, om #Maikel een kaart oid te kunnen sturen.
Dit kan zeker en wordt enorm gewaardeerd!🙏
Dit mag naar:
Politie Utrecht
Tav: Maikel
Kroonstraat 25
3511RC Utrecht
Wij zorgen dat alle steunbetuigingen bij hem aankomen!
#BureauUtrecht
“Als de politie niet jouw held is, dan is ze dat wel van iemand anders.”
Achter elk politieuniform zit een mens.
Een vader, moeder, broer of zus.
Laat ze hun werk doen.
Ook met de jaarwisseling.
Wat een sterke video.
Zo veel respect voor onze agenten💙 #SteunDePolitie
Across NATO’s 32 member nations, there’s more than one way to celebrate the winter holidays and wish each other well 🌟
How do you say “Merry Christmas” in your country? ❄️🎄
☘️⛳️ COMPETITION TIME ⛳️☘️
To celebrate @TheOpen taking place on the island of Ireland at the stunning @royalportrush, we’re giving away some magnificent Open 2025 Merch!
To enter:
✅ Retweet
✅ Follow @FairwaysFundays
✅ Like this post
Winner announced 21 July! Good luck ☘️
A teacher gave each student a balloon, who had to inflate it, write their name on it, and throw it down the hall. The teacher then mixed up all the balloons. The students were given 5 minutes to find their own balloons.
Despite the frantic search, no one found their balloon.
At that point, the teacher told the students to take the first balloon they found and give it to the person whose name was written on it.
Within 5 minutes, everyone had their own balloon.
The teacher said to the students: "These balloons are like happiness.
We will never find it if everyone looks for their own. But if we care about the happiness of others, we will find our happiness too."
May your day be filled with happiness. ❤️
Afgelopen week mocht ik spreken voor een financiële dienstverlener. Mooie meeting met onderwerpen als:
- teamontwikkeling
- leiderschap
- focus
- vitaliteit
- hoe haal je het beste uit iemand?
Zoek jij ook een gastspreker voor jouw event?
Contact me: https://t.co/F6iAVaGHgI
"Grandpa, were you a hero in the war? No, but I served in a company of heroes." - Richard Winters
What was asked of the heroes of D-Day has never been seen in world history since, and hopefully, will never have to be seen again.
Keep their memories alive. #DDay