UNCLE OluwaMuyiwa aka SENIOR MAN!!!!

LIFE..DEATH...AND A GLORIOUS TIME IN BETWEEN.

[@dr_barz @drbarzhimself]

🚨 BREAKING: USA reportedly declare themselves favourites for the World Cup after defeating Paraguay and discovering football might actually be more fun than baseball

The United States opened their World Cup campaign with a dominant 4-1 victory over Paraguay, immediately triggering dangerous levels of confidence across a nation that still calls the sport “soccer” like it’s a side quest.

Folarin Balogun was named Man of the Match after scoring, assisting and moving in a way American commentators reportedly described as:

“Basically the Steph Curry of Soccer.”

Sources say celebrations inside the USA camp were emotional.

The result has already caused widespread overreaction across American sports media, with several pundits now asking whether the USMNT could realistically:

• win the World Cup
• host the Super Bowl at halftime
• and draft a left winger from college football by next summer

Meanwhile, Paraguay are said to be devastated after conceding four goals to a country where children still grow up believing football is something played mainly during commercials.

One Paraguayan defender reportedly described Balogun as:

“African, Fast, clinical and unfortunately sponsored.”

American fans reacted to the win by immediately pretending they have always loved the sport.

Sources say thousands of supporters who previously called matches “soccer games” are now suddenly discussing:

• low blocks
• inverted fullbacks
• xG
• and “European mentality” with terrifying confidence

One analyst described the transformation as:

“Yesterday they thought a false 9 was a tax form”

Inside FIFA, officials are understood to be monitoring the situation carefully amid fears the United States may now attempt to:

• add timeouts
• introduce player drafts
• and rename the Ballon d’Or the “Soccer MVP Experience presented by Amazon Prime.”

Balogun himself remained calm after the match.

Sources say the striker simply thanked teammates and politely ignored 4,000 tweets comparing him to Pelé after one good group-stage performance.

One insider summed up the atmosphere perfectly:

“America don’t even fully understand football yet and they’re already acting like they saved it.”

Source: Trust Me.

[Charles C. W. Cooke @charlescwcooke]

“Let’s make sure we get no more PayPals, Teslas, SpaceXs, Neuralinks, Starlinks . . .” Just illiterate, destructive, sclerotic nonsense.

[UNCLE OluwaMuyiwa aka SENIOR MAN!!!! @japometutu]

That @woye1 bloke needs to be invited and investigated by EFCC. He also was propagating that AIR NIGERIA bull on this streets.

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[UNCLE OluwaMuyiwa aka SENIOR MAN!!!! @japometutu]

This Sen. Nwaebonyi is very slow.😂😂😂😂 dude didn't get it that @ruffydfire was being sarcastic with that praising.
Damm, and this one nah Senator o.😂😂😂😂

[chef_pearl4👩‍🍳 @Pearlskitchen4]

Bulk orders father lord 🙏

[UNCLE OluwaMuyiwa aka SENIOR MAN!!!! @japometutu]

You all in Lagos should stop sleeping on @Pearlskitchen4. That Pluto box meal is a deal that shouldn't be missed.

[Kunle Shobo @ROS1609]

@Only1Etubo if you let hype man whine you lasan, na you know o😂

[Aláshelà @TheYemiKing]

Oh, please.

Spare us the victimhood and demographic cope.

Southern critics aren't 'fearing' Northern population growth out of tribal spite, we are just exhausted by a parasitic, unsustainable system where one region's deliberate choice to breed like it's 1800 (TFR 6-7+ in places like Katsina, vs. 3.3 in Lagos) turns the entire country into a failed state, while the South foots the bill.

Mass weddings?

When ypur region is already hoarding 65-87% of Nigeria's poor, with sky-high out-of-school children, Boko Haram breeding grounds, banditry, and dependency.

This isn't "cultural autonomy" but it's a demographic time bomb subsidized by oil and tax money from the South, rigged census padding for more federal seats, local governments and allocations, and endless excuses why education, skills, and smaller families are "Western" plots.

Population growth isn't automatically a 'strength.' Not when it's paired with medieval feudal fertility, low human capital, and governance that produces nothing but more poverty and insecurity spilling across borders.

The North isn't "winning" politically; it's trapping everyone in mutual decline.

The south keep the federation afloat, yet continues to be lectured on unity while its resources fund parallel societies that reject modernity. Small Lagos-Calabar road to boost that economy, y'all gathered pitch forks to roast everyone.

This marriage was forced by colonial fiat and has been a disaster of incompatible values, incentives, and outcomes ever since. Enough with the denial. Nigeria should pursue the velvet separation route via a civilized, negotiated divorce like Czechoslovakia in 1993.

Peaceful borders, asset division, trade agreements, freedom of movement if desired.

Let the North pursue its high-fertility, low-investment model without dragging other parts of the country into Malthusian collapse.

That's the only thing that can save the North from its bad leadership in my opinion. When the Abuja feeding bottle stops, your leaders will actually wake up and start to do the real work of building a proper economy

Forced unity isn't strength; it's a suicide pact. Those blocking peaceful separation are guaranteeing the violent kind.

The data is clear, the cultural chasm is wide, and the results speak for themselves: the smaller countries would both be freer to chart their own course instead of this endless, resentful hostage situation.

Time to amicably dissolve what never truly integrated.

[Osaretin Victor Asemota @asemota]

Chale!!! We are on the wrong side of consulting 🤯🤯🤯

[UNCLE OluwaMuyiwa aka SENIOR MAN!!!! @japometutu]

🙌🏿🙌🏿 ebu owo baba ibeji...

[Babeji OnIgbin //ReGen Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida @adeoluwawa]

Na PJ

[UNCLE OluwaMuyiwa aka SENIOR MAN!!!! @japometutu]

Check your DM sir. God bless you, I no dey greedy, no need for private jet or first class ticket, Business class no ti wa okay.

[Babeji OnIgbin //ReGen Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida @adeoluwawa]

@japometutu Now

[UNCLE OluwaMuyiwa aka SENIOR MAN!!!! @japometutu]

Baba ibeji, me too will like to go too o. When make I send account number?

[Babeji OnIgbin //ReGen Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida @adeoluwawa]

You can go to Ghana

[Hon. Ọmọtọ́ńsọrẹ̀ @oMoTonsore]

I hope you guys know this video is all lies.
1. EU does not use this kind of seats/chairs
2. Peter Obi’s name is not long and it will never be shortened
3. That kind of teleprompter I circled is not used in the EU Parliament.
4. No foreigner from Africa has attended EU parliamentary in the last 8 days.

@Europarl_FR did Peter Obi attend any session in your parliament?

Judge this yourself!

[KWEKU THE HUSTLER @Urchilla01]

Ogene-infused choir had me cheesing so bad 😁😁😊😊

[Bibs Omo Obadeyi @BibilolaO]

We need to first uphold the fact that Nigeria is a secular state…

Not Christian
Not Islamic

Take your bloody religious intolerance elsewhere.

Because are we all mad!!!

[Daddy Yankee UCL¹⁵ Real Madrid¹ @Yincar]

Imagine just realising that Tinubu and his people are very useless, and that they only care about themselves.

It's good that more and more people are realising it tho

[UNCLE OluwaMuyiwa aka SENIOR MAN!!!! @japometutu]

FUCK SHARIA!!!!
FUCK MUSLIM MUSLIM TICKET!!!
And if you down with both, THEN FUCK YOU TOO!!!!
Now go ahead and scream, Islamophobia. Eyin were alaso gbogbo.

[The Beat-Oven✨ @The_BeatOven]

Deborah was burnt to death

What did Sharia do to her killers?