Overheard at a sporting event, said by a man on the phone behind me.
"I found the best bar.
At the airport.
In Utah."
Does anyone know this bar? Because I want to know why it is the best in all of Utah AND ALSO THE WORLD
@kylekinane If it makes you feel better or worse, I ran into a guy who looked so much like you that a drunk friend demanded I take a picture of the two of them as if the guy was you
After getting desensitized to high priced health insurance plans in NYC, I just bought a WA state plan that's so cheap, I'm like "this is too much... you shouldn't have... take some back. No? Well, at least let me pay a higher deductible...? Or... can I tip you...?"
Math and words and logic that kinda works but doesn't
The word "middle" means the midpoint between two ends. (ref: any dictionary)
If true, shouldn't the middle class refer to ppl halfway between $0 and $Bezos? The "middle class" is people with $94 billion in the bank
Has anyone out there ever had a dream with so many screwball cameos that you wake up feeling like you just watched an @AdamSandler flick?
Shout out to @tomhanks, who gave an Oscar worthy performance as "bartender #2" last night in my sleepytime brain film 👏👏👏
If you have a 2 hr conversation with someone and don't ask a single question to learn more or to clarify something your date said, your core value isn't "communication." It's "talking."
#dating
I caught up with an old fling from my 20s recently who told me that I hit pause for 5 minutes on our first date to spend some time climbing a tree. Tbh I'd do it again if the moment felt right.
In case no one was wondering, I've recently learned that my ability to be comfortable having my picture taken is directly linked to how I feel about my jawline.