@HillaryClinton can my next tattoo be your signature? I can’t find another design that would represent courage and determination more accurately than you, so just let me know so I don’t get sued for doing it ❤️💙🤍🇺🇸
Me: Meets a guy who sets off every internal warning bell and raises every possible red flag in my brain and radiates pure toxic energy but he kinda cute tho
my brain:
“Jared you interrupting me when I’m talking makes me climax” - @KeithHayley ‘s very first words to me as soon as she woke up this morning. I’m in danger y’all.
@KeithHayley and I spent a good half hour on the phone tonight just laughing so hard we were crying because we were scrolling through each other’s pages and reading the dumb shit we’ve tweeted/retweeted😩😩😅🤦🏻 we big time dumb
If you show me any signs of a red flag or multiple red flags I am automatically into you and will drop everything in my life to make sure you have the opportunity to ruin me.