Jared Smith

In life we often have to do things that are just not our bag (He/Him)

[Jared Smith @jarsmitty1]

*knocks on door*
McConaughey: “Do you have a thanksgiving turkey?”
Resident: “no, no I don’t”
McConaughey: “Be a lot cooler if you did.” https://t.co/GpmB0Y4OOg

[News 19 @whnt]

Matthew McConaughey delivers 4,500 free turkeys on his birthday https://t.co/LJGjQJUNpc

[Jared Smith @jarsmitty1]

I never knew Karl Malone was drafted 13th overall. I’m going to google “Karl Malone 13” and see what comes up

[Utah Jazz @utahjazz]

On this date we drafted Karl Malone 📬

#TakeNote

[PFT Commenter @PFTCommenter]

I remember some other germans who got brought into NASA with little to no vetting

[Jared Smith @jarsmitty1]

The ducks when they get out of this water

[bob kovach @bkovoDC]

This morning at the reflecting pool

[Jared Smith @jarsmitty1]

Don’t let this post fool you, Chernobyl is in the same category of television as Band of Brothers. It’s really an S tier experience

[🦫🇺🇾 @doubtpointv2]

Bf making me watch Chernobyl after I made him watch Love Island

[Jared Smith @jarsmitty1]

Ella Fellas take on Germany

[Freddy🇩🇪 @FreddyLA7]

The best discovery of our road trip has been a musician called Ella Langley. We had never heard of her before, but after hearing her on pretty much every country radio station, we’ve become big fans. She’s basically the soundtrack of our trip.

[Kyle @AllAubarn]

Eating Buccees brisket sandwiches at 1AM on a stack of deer corn in Alabama is about as American as it gets. Hell yeah.

[Sickos Committee @SickosCommittee]

War Goddamn Eagle

[Jared Smith @jarsmitty1]

Bringing this HOF tweet back for the season 8 premiere

[Patches O’Houlihan @sondraa]

The people on Love Island have no clue we just bombed Iran

[kofie.substack.com @Kofie]

$13 at Cookout? 10 years ago, that would give you some equity in the company

[Brendan Weathers @BrendanWeathers]

I was really on board with the #Euphoria finale for the first half and about 70m into it I thought, "Sam Levinson might actually land this plane, but there's 40m left, he could still fuck it up," and GANG, you will never guess what happened.

[helio tha bwear @Bearlymedical]

HES GOT THAT SHIT ONNN

[Jared Smith @jarsmitty1]

Part of growing up is setting aside your early-mid 20’s superiority complex and realizing that your dad and his friends were right all along drinking the same cheap domestic beer and never switching it up.

[The Atlantic @TheAtlantic]

Miller Lite is a bad beer but an incredible beverage, @Tyler_A_Harper argues: “It is neither complicated nor offensive, and it derives its magic from this bland alchemy, this delicate equipoise of fizzy nothingness.” https://t.co/1bsBtA7uzV

[DOCS @solidaritydept]

Only one way to find out.

[Jacobin @jacobin]

Mayor Zohran Mamdani mocks Ronald Reagan’s infamous quote.

“I can think of nine words more terrifying than ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help…’”

“I worked all day and can’t feed my family.”

[Jared Smith @jarsmitty1]

LANE KIFFIN: Ole Miss is too racist.

STEVE SARKISIAN: Ole Miss’s academic standards are a joke.

ED ORGERON:

[Drake Counts @CountsDrake]

100 retweets and I’ll be in Truist on Saturday night with a gallon of spaghetti.

[Lyndon Baines Johnson @lyndonbajohnson]

Stopping the spread of HIV is a good thing.

[Jared Smith @jarsmitty1]

Happy birthday to John Brown. You can argue about his methods but not his conviction and search for justice.

[Nikolaj🇺🇦🇵🇸 @nikicaga]

Feel like the Bible is quite explicit on this one