the bean machine

big jason bean fan

[the bean machine @JasonBeanMuse]

I wake up. I miss you.

[Jaketendo @jaketheyoshifan]

Alex Bregman might be in my bottom 10 least favorite Cubs list (of all time)

Dude is just a total loser

[Jared Rennie @jjrennie]

Pretty good CAPE in today’s sounding.

[Я @LJJM__]

Azzi got outplayed so bad they posted her stats & called it hate speech

[michael @worstmichael]

unfollowed longtime mutual because they posted a picture from the savannah bananas game in milwaukee. You have to draw the line somewhere

[the bean machine @JasonBeanMuse]

isaac wood is back what is 2026

[izzy loves All-Star PCA!! @seiyahomer4iz]

if the cubs lose during pride month theyre all homophobic

[the bean machine @JasonBeanMuse]

#TeamRedBill

[OBVIOUS SHIRTS® @obvious_shirts]

Giving away a Kerry Wood signed Red Bill to celebrate the victory! Quote tweet #TeamRedBill to enter. Winner picked tomorrow at 1:20pm central. Must be following to win.

[the bean machine @JasonBeanMuse]

Ratio’ed by Zohran Mamdani

[Vivek Ramaswamy @VivekGRamaswamy]

Date night in Cleveland. Let’s go Cavs…all the way back!

[the bean machine @JasonBeanMuse]

NO HITTER! ONIONS!

[the bean machine @JasonBeanMuse]

@StubbyMuffin I love armadillos

[the bean machine @JasonBeanMuse]

BOOTS! RILEY! I LOVE BOOSTERS! A MASTERPIECE.

[the bean machine @JasonBeanMuse]

Working on convincing Mamdani to be a Cubs fan part-time with his full-time Mets job

[Zito @_Zeets]

Zohran has to be the prince that was promised because that man got in office and all of his sports teams started performing well

[the bean machine @JasonBeanMuse]

Canvas cloutmogging hantavirus after the hackedmaxxing incident

[the bean machine @JasonBeanMuse]

I’m afraid taking this whole thing to the internet just proves the haters right, dude.

[Trevor Bauer (トレバー・バウアー) @BauerOutage]

Damn. Tough week for the Bauer haters.

“He’s washed” -> no hitter
“Teammates hate him” -> endorsement from a first ballot hall of famer
“Velo isn’t there” - sits 95 touches 99 with 10ks

Sold out crowds. Sold out autograph sessions. Vlogs on fire. Life is good right now.

Thanks to everyone who came out and made this week special! Love you guys!

[the bean machine @JasonBeanMuse]

Just do it like the PWHL lol

[NBACentral @TheDunkCentral]

Here’s how the new lottery odds will look:

(h/t @LevAkabas )

[the bean machine @JasonBeanMuse]

Matt Shaw still employed 😔😔😔😔😔

[Chicago Cubs @Cubs]

Night two.

Watch the game live on @WatchMarquee.

[the bean machine @JasonBeanMuse]

Bill Self every year before becoming Wizards Jordan/Celtics Shaq:

[the bean machine @JasonBeanMuse]

And I’m supposed to believe a Kansas #1 Commit will want to play more than 20 mpg under Bill Self?

[the bean machine @JasonBeanMuse]

Tyran Stokes saw Darryn Peterson get to do whatever he wanted without repercussions and said “I want a piece of that”