jason

“normal person”

[jason @jasontimesten]

@dril Guys it's been one minute. He's not going to do it.

[jason @jasontimesten]

They can't make a barrel that can hold me for more than two years.

[jason @jasontimesten]

@Fact I got a shorter one: BOO! 👻

[jason @jasontimesten]

@Independent Why hasn’t Elon Musk unclogged my toilet?

[jason @jasontimesten]

@JimBelushi That’s called a sneeze.

[jason @jasontimesten]

Shooting fish in a barrel is a lot harder than people make it sound. The barrel really restricts your arms.

[jason @jasontimesten]

@thetimes Shrek is the Joker?

[jason @jasontimesten]

@redbull How did you film this?

[jason @jasontimesten]

@milkyway That’s like shooting fish in a fish.

[jason @jasontimesten]

@Slate Teach him kung fu.

[jason @jasontimesten]

@Fact Time dilation due to his massive brain.

[jason @jasontimesten]

@Independent I thought lashes would go on the front. But I’m not a makeup stylist.

[jason @jasontimesten]

The Mantis Shrimp have up to 16 photoreceptors and can see UV, visible and polarized light. But can they see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch?

[jason @jasontimesten]

@archillect Neil Armstrong’s first steps on the moon.

[jason @jasontimesten]

As a wise man once said, “what in the cinnamon toast fuck is this?”

[jason @jasontimesten]

@Fact This displeases me.

[jason @jasontimesten]

@archillect Tastefully horny.

[jason @jasontimesten]

@verge He lookin kinda sus

[jason @jasontimesten]

@DailyMirror That boy’s name:

[jason @jasontimesten]

@FOXTV Are you a twitch streamer?