Jason Windsor

I'm just a writer, looking at a reader, asking them to love me.

[Jason Windsor @jasonwindsor]

Jim: I need your help taking down ISIS.
Roy: Man, I’ve been out of the game too long.
Jim: They’ve got Pam…

[Jason Windsor @jasonwindsor]

(And before you think I’m giving everyone too much credit, just remember that these idiots become super-savants when it’s time to evade responsibility.)

[Jason Windsor @jasonwindsor]

Imagine:

Matt Gaetz is a sitting member of Congress, being investigated by the House Ethics Committee for truly nasty stuff. He knows the hammer is going to come down on him, because A) he did it, and B) he’s made a lot of enemies in the House. Like, they hate his guts.

[Jason Windsor @jasonwindsor]

Instead, dropping out so he can stop being “a distraction”.

If Gaetz can make it all happen quickly enough, like, say, a week, they can mostly avoid embarrassment for Trump, who could have nominated Bondi from the beginning.

[Jason Windsor @jasonwindsor]

@HannahComer4d Potato chip omelet.

[Jason Windsor @jasonwindsor]

@patrickhwillems the day your AI Wes video came out, The Afterparty did its Wes Anderson sendup.

[Jason Windsor @jasonwindsor]

Men used to do a lot of things, now they whine about… :checks notes: …Barbie.

[Jason Windsor @jasonwindsor]

@patriottakes Never imagined I’d say someone gave cat turds a bad name, but here we are.

[Jason Windsor @jasonwindsor]

Welp. #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Jason Windsor @jasonwindsor]

@naima Also…🤷🏻‍♂️

[Jason Windsor @jasonwindsor]

@naima We’re like the middle child generation.

[Jason Windsor @jasonwindsor]

Is he the right person to lead a conversation about fairness in sports?

[Jason Windsor @jasonwindsor]

Yeah, but now we have actual annoying guys…

[Rory Blank @BoneJail]

you used to be able to make a whole movie based around the idea what if there was a guy who was annoying to be around

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

Marjorie Taylor Greene says that when people like Jamaal Bowman call her a white supremacist it's "like calling a person a color the n-word"

"His physical mannerisms are aggressive ... I feel threatened by him," Greene adds of Bowman

[Jason Windsor @jasonwindsor]

@ask_aubry His opinion isn’t even compatible with the Christian Bible. Jesus never told women to dress a certain way, but he DID tell men to cut off their hands and pluck out their eyes if they can’t control their lusts.

[Jason Windsor @jasonwindsor]

If Hunter broke the law, he should go to jail.

If Trump broke the law, he should go to jail.

See how easy that was?

[Jason Windsor @jasonwindsor]

Was this a Mad Lib?

(Either meaning, btw)