@limitlessmindon Giving me anything I wanted, materialistically and financially at a young age so the only thing I crave getting older is intimacy so the rest won’t impress me much.
You've mastered survival mode. Heal so you forgive yourself for what you did in survival mode, unlearn the survival tactics without turning them into self-sabotaging behaviors, and unlearn your own toxic patterns without becoming like those who traumatized you.
In retrospect, you have to accept and be comfortable with letting your physical being feel emotions you have ran from time and time again, and understand it’s not because you’re weak, but because you know how dangerous you are, if Love is not around to tame you.
It gets to a point where you have to stand still and really look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself what is your will to live.. and if you are anything like me you’d painfully accept your concept might be dehydrating you from understanding your will to live…
While in survival mode you are willing to compromise your core values because surviving is most important.
As you heal you become more in alignment with what matters to you and gain confidence expressing what is right for you without guilt or shame.
The reason people in a toxic family won’t heal is because they have one another & bond over their denial. They hide in each other’s shadows. The reason the cycle breaker chooses to heal is because those people have never supported them & healing is the only lifeline they have.
People get used to you not speaking up, that when you do they get shook enough to make you look like a villain so they won’t take accountability for the shitty actions that might of provoked you. lol