J Stilgar

[J Stilgar @jastilgar]

@NIMMlE wow, you're stunning. Happen to be looking for a human ATM?

[J Stilgar @jastilgar]

@6hibal happen to be looking for a human ATM?

[J Stilgar @jastilgar]

@sophiekimmx happen to be looking for a human ATM?

[J Stilgar @jastilgar]

@ahedoniaa what's your throne?

[J Stilgar @jastilgar]

anyone low key looking for a human ATM?

[J Stilgar @jastilgar]

I pledge a limited life tax to my Queen today. This is a bi-weekly payment.

[J Stilgar @jastilgar]

@KathalynDo @ZSAssociates Do you need anyone to help fund your influencer lifestyle?

[J Stilgar @jastilgar]

Surprisingly not easy?

[Financial Dystopia @financedystop]

The corporate version of “he knows we can’t bench him.”

[dana donnelly @danadonnelly]

noticed the girl getting her nails done next to me had really good posture so i started sitting up straighter and the lady doing my nails so loud goes “you copying her” and did an impression of me looking at the girl and shimmying my shoulders back and the whole salon cackled

[Lukas (computer)🛡️ @SCHIZO_FREQ]

If people lie a lot but they also provide value in other ways, people now weigh the lying against the value and keep net positive people around

These situations are horrifying bc the person in question receives ~0 feedback that everyone thinks they're a pathological liar

[J Stilgar @jastilgar]

Would anyone like a person to drain?

[J Stilgar @jastilgar]

Why don't I have followers? I am LITERALLY free money.

[Daniel Turner @DanielTurnerPTF]

Uber: car? It’s 3 minutes away

Me: click

Uber: did I say 3? I meant 11 minutes

Me: cancel

Uber: cancel? That’s $10 charge

Me: don’t cancel

Uber: yeah thought so. But now it’s 14 minutes, idiot

Been fun to watch Uber launch as awesome and become atrocious.

[scar @imfat]

If you are 29 and still broke it is over for you brother

[ayo @ayospawned]

I just met someone who's parents were both an "only child" so she has zero aunts, uncles, cousins nothing😭😭😭

[J Stilgar @jastilgar]

@ConsoomerLs Lmao this is everywhere

[Corporate Absurdity @CorpAbsurdity]

Companies rarely invest into employee training nowadays.

[J Stilgar @jastilgar]

@15x0xx So funny