Jaydeep Joshi

Passionate,Curious,Restless Soul, In pursuit of Hapynesss.
And Still Discovering.

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@ursAbhi1301 Tharoor Shashi

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@asynchronous_x I use only HTTP, am I affected ?

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@MouthBornFool Boolean uses 0 and 1 only. 0 was invested by Aryabhatt. Thank you for you attention to this matter.

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@AshishGupta325 At this way they will intorduce un realized capital gain tax.

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@hajarkagalwa According to mutiverse, there is an universe where NZ is like Gagiabad and Gaziabad like NZ. If there is a way, would like to move there.

[Derek Devicemanager @IT_unhinged]

Security called me at 6:12 AM today.

"Patch every PHP server immediately."

I asked what happened.

"Two critical vulnerabilities. Remote code execution. No authentication required."

Cool.

How many PHP servers do we have?

According to inventory: 12

According to reality:

Nobody knows.

We found one running WordPress.

Three running old internal tools.

One under someone's desk.

Two inside vendor appliances.

A forgotten employee directory from 2016.

And a server named:

PHP-OLD-DO-NOT-TOUCH

Naturally, that one runs payroll exports.

Then we found a PHP 5.6 box.

I asked who owned it.

The documentation said:

BRIAN.

Brian left in 2019.

We called Brian.

He said:

"Oh wow, that's still running?"

Excellent.

By 8 AM, leadership joined the incident call.

CEO:

"Can hackers actually get in?"

Security:

"Potentially yes."

CEO:

"Without a password?"

Security:

"Yes."

CEO:

"Then why do WE need passwords?"

Not the lesson.

Finance asked if we could wait until the weekend to patch because downtime affects revenue.

Security explained that the alternative was letting strangers execute code on our servers.

Finance asked for a cost comparison.

At 9:17, someone suggested temporarily taking the vulnerable websites offline.

Marketing refused.

"Our campaign is live."

So for the next hour, the company officially decided maintaining a landing page for 20% off webinar registration was more important than preventing remote server takeover.

We finally patched everything we could find.

Then our scanner discovered another PHP server.

Hostname:

TEMP-PHP-2014

Uptime:

4,512 days.

Nobody knows what it does.

Nobody owns it.

Nobody can shut it down.

But every time we block network access, the warehouse stops printing shipping labels.

Security has classified it as critical infrastructure.

It is running PHP 5.4.

The vulnerability has existed longer than half our employees.

The emergency patch took four hours.

Finding out what PHP actually runs took eleven.

The internet isn't held together with code.

It's held together with servers everyone is afraid to turn off.

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@djcows People who ca update COBOL application are dead.

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@AgentSaffron Onteddu Reddy.

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@Team_IPOMantra @Abhinavsin55471 @ipo_mantra How to do it ?

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@HeyKisu Apply purely for listing gain.

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@Shinde_Revati21 Indian post banking services.

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@REDBOXINDIA FII wale liquid ka Vapour bana rahe hai.

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@pcmcindiagovin @mygovindia @MahaDGIPR @CMOMaharashtra @PCMCSarathi Remove BRTS. It is only making road more congested. Visit shivar chowk at 7PM if you need demo.

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@prathyuuusha Ramayan ko to Pakistani nai bata sakte hai varna ab tak to credit le chuke hote.

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@SiddharthKG7 These people milk the cow and buffallows at 4 AM and supply it to Co-op dairy at 6AM. Otherwise peoplw in cities will not get milk.

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@sunnysweet201 Civil hospital ma hai aavjo. Kadach mali jaay.

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@ChapraZila I bought laptop from croma giving 500 rs more than online price. Just to avoid such issues.

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@IndiaTales7 Yeh inke Modi Advani hai.

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@KirenRijiju @narendramodi દલા તરવાડી ની વાડી જેવું છે.

[Jaydeep Joshi @jaydeepjoshi29]

@iamdranh Only STT and STCG,
He is smaller than LTCG clause.