My uncle from kaimosi came to visit me. I made him runny eggs, some bacon, lettuce, two sausages, a bowl of beans and two slices of bread.
Him: hii mayai apana iva. Rudisha kwa meko kidogo ikuwe na rangi. Ndo maana wewe hakuna nyama. ๐คฃ๐คฃ
Itโs either my uncle Waruthu is heavily bewitchedโฆ or the man is the luckiest dropout kikuyu in the history of Kenya.
This man dropped out in Class 6. No degree. No biashara. No master plan. Just inherited land and some anointed timing.
He starts in Kingeero with a plot left by his father.
Then boom Western Bypass construction comes slicing through it, then KeNHA appears and tells him,
โWaruthu, kindly move, but first collect your 16 million.โ
Now a serious man would sit down, call a fundi, maybe an architect, maybe even think of rentals, biashara, mabati ya tenants, something sensible.
Not Waruthu.
Waruthu buys land in Gitaru for 4 million, puts up a 3-bedroom house, then takes the rest of the money and launches a one-man campaign of alcohol, women and complete financial vandalism.
The man did not spend money. He attacked it.
Two years later, before the dust even settles, KeNHA returns again.
This time for the Gitaru-Kikuyu interchange.
Iโm not joking.
Same man. Same story. Same government. Another cheque.
19 million.
At this point you stop calling it luck. This is now a calling.
He moves to Manguo near Limuru town, buys about three-quarter acre, builds again for around 4 million, then does exactly what he had done before.
Not almost. Not roughly. Exactly.
House first, then the balance is taken hostage by bars, women and enjoyment until nothing remains except memories and hangovers.
Any other human being would learn.
Waruthu?
Waruthu behaves like a man who thinks compensation is a monthly salary.
Then last November Ruto launches the Rironi-Nakuru-Mau Summit Road project.
Now tell me why this manโs land is again sitting next to the highway like it had been booked in advance.
Again the government comes.
Again they acquire.
Again Waruthu is paid.
This time 25 million.
You people, there are men who hustle for 20 years and never smell 5 million.
This fool has made a full career out of being removed by road projects.
He doesnโt farm.
He doesnโt build wealth.
He doesnโt invest.
He just keeps positioning himself where tarmac will eventually develop feelings.
The last report we got was that he had moved to Ponda Mali in Nakuru.
Either thereโs a powerful mganga somewhere blessing his land papersโฆ or God has a very twisted sense of humour when it comes to my uncle.
The man is turning Kenyan infrastructure into his personal ATM.
Respect. ๐
NIS didn't detect an illegal kidney transplant syndicate. They couldn't detect cult worship at Shakahola. They can't detect terrorist cells in Kenya. However, they can detect a youth armed with data bundles ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ๐ฟ
Men,
Finally,
When your life is at its best,
โ Stay humble.
Don't demean those struggling.
โข Remain thankful.
Don't mock those below you.
Life is a test. Study it. Pass it.
WE MUST WIN
#MasculinitySaturday