Jaypee

[Iain Macwhirter @iainmacwhirter]

.@Planet_Pedro Pity the "Named Person", usually teacher, when the next Baby P happens and they are front line for blame.

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

What about the blood and brains of murdered soldiers. Are they still on you? https://t.co/7nCYs4LRL0

[Gerry Adams @GerryAdamsSF]

The yokes on me!

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

You could always blow the brains out of any Brit that serves you beans, seems reasonable. @GerryAdamsSF

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

To all the cannon fodder in my constituency remember to vote SNP before deploying somewhere dangerous in case you die before you get back.

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

A happy #BalustradeLanyardDay to one and all. This is a time we all need to come together and forget our differences. Shalom.

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

Now that we have persuaded the Tories not to change fox hunting law to mirror Scotland we can move on hopefully.

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

@PeterWishartMP I told him to stand outside so he didn't get lost, then I sent @mhaiiriblackMP to get him. Were you pished again girl?

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

@jamesmcdermot20 @Indy_Alba @LadyCarolMax we all need down time James. Why shouldn't the imperialist state pay?"

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

@Gillian_Philip @MrsCupcake79 @MrHarryCole it wasn't the wrong lobby it was just different to the one he'd originally considered. Questions?

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

.@STJamesl anyway, it was MacNeil. At least it's better than finding him in a cupboard after 8 hours. @mhaiiriblackMP you've got one job!

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

@STJamesl how is it my fault if they changed the lobbies round? We should just have to put our hands up or something.

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

@LapGongLeong fucking right I am wee man!

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

@WestminsterDUP @HouseofCommons Yasssss man!

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

.@Indy_Alba once the dust settles and people aren't watching us as much we can enjoy a wee bit of public funded downtime.

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

@Borojock @londonmayor @NicolaSturgeon Do it Boris, or have you not got the minerals? It doesn't bother me either way, I'm pretty well off.

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

@mhaiiriblackMP @PeteWishart right you two, if you don't sort yourselves out someone else will get your share of Angus Robertson's wages.

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

@guardian_clark they're both right only this one gives you real insight into what I'm actually thinking.

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

@andywightman am I really a parody or just all those random thoughts typed out in haste?

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

@nursie6 @PeterWishartMP doesn't he look statesman like? He says I've got to say things like that or he won't let me be leader.

[Jaypee @jaypee677]

@kevverage the thing is Kev he can look like the dribbling loon he really is, as SNP we are more than gods! Right, I'm off for a godly nap.