Penobscot Warrior

white people man

[Matt McCusker @mattwritesbooks]

Fucking love sauce. The whole idea of it. Just covering a whole meal and taking over.

[Undefeated (7.136-0) @DodgeDickle]

If there is a gambling god, they hate my fucking guys

[Joe List @JoeListComedy]

I just had an idea for a great invention:
A hotel ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign that doesn’t fall off the handle every single time you open the door.

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

Oh and for people wondering #BarstoolSportsbook is guaranteed both retail and online in MA. There will be no behind the scenes shenanigans from our competitors to keep us out. We’re coming home

[Yung Skrrt™ @yungskrrt]

Oh Naur

[Penobscot Warrior @jbessette6]

tums should make tums flavors the same as the food that gives you heartburn so u can just crush it up and sprinkle that shit right on

[Penobscot Warrior @jbessette6]

i just saw some add for a james van der beek bobble head and assumed my algorithm knew me way to well then realized it was an add for a personalized bobblehead of awhite dude and thats when i realized i subconsciously wanted a bobblehead of james van der beek

[Penobscot Warrior @jbessette6]

im 26 and its taken me 26 years to realize how being colorblind means i can make sooo many hacky jokes with the punchline being “i dont see color”

[Penobscot Warrior @jbessette6]

this is the once in a lifetime occurrence that my normal schedule is work saturday+sunday and have monday+tuesday off

[Ryan Long @ryanlongcomedy]

Old Cop Shows vs New Cop Shows

[mark normand @marknorm]

Quitting bread is going against the grain

[Jeremiah Watkins @jeremiahstandup]

It’s my birthday tomorrow…
https://t.co/hlYWWbA4fR

[mark normand @marknorm]

I’m waiting to see if I’ll ever be attracted to men too, I’m standing bi

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

How the turntables...

[Penobscot Warrior @jbessette6]

i keep watching shows and seeing their places and im like they live way above their means

[Tim Dillon @TimJDillon]

My friends son just tested positive for Covid. He’s in second grade. They just executed him in front of his class.

[Sal Vulcano @SalVulcano]

RIP Charlie Watts 🙌

[Penobscot Warrior @jbessette6]

i think the only people to be allowed to use the term “you play too much” should be like medical professionals and funeral directors everything else should be in bounds

[Ricky Gervais @rickygervais]

@toddbarry That's a K.O. 👏