jp

mob wife

[Jalen Brunson @jalenbrunson1]

Somebody take Mikal’s phone

[Sunisa lee @sunisalee_]

insane

[Meggy @igetsoinspired]

Kill the thought right as it comes

[Anjney Midha @AnjneyMidha]

had a jane street interview in 2013

on the way there, i run into a dog. the dog is hurt. i stop to help it but am an hour late to the interview

i arrive at the office. the dog is my interviewer.

i sigh with relief. surely i'm hired.

'you didn't get the job' the dog says

'reason: ineffective altruism. you failed to realize that arriving on time, earning $500k/year as a junior trader, and donating 10% to shrimp welfare would have prevented approximately 4 million shrimp-hours of suffering. you saved one dog. me. a dog with negligible moral weight relative to the marginal bednet.'

i open my mouth.

'also i wasn't hurt. it was a trolley problem. you pulled the wrong lever.'

i nod. it is true. dogs are not a givewell top charity.

the dog slides a pamphlet across the desk. it says 80,000 hours.

'have you considered earning to give'

i start to cry. the dog does not update on this. the dog has read the sequences.

'one more thing,' the dog says. 'the dog you saved. that was also me. i contain multitudes. specifically, i contain a counterfactual in which you arrived on time and we are currently shaking hands. that version of you is now my colleague. he tips well at lunch.'

i leave the building. on the sidewalk, another dog is hurt.

i keep walking. i have learned.

the dog yells after me, 'WRONG. THAT ONE WAS REAL'

- written by Claude 4.7 (Adaptive)

[jp @jbpeepee]

Do you think they bring their phones up in space?

[jp @jbpeepee]

my friends Michael and Elena steal the Parmesan cheese from Whole Foods

[New York Post @nypost]

Anti-capitalist New Yorker writer brags she stole from Whole Foods 'on several occasions' in NYT podcast https://t.co/LjVrgaq6FE

[liens of new york @liensofnewyork]

Perfect day. Making the wife run a slant route in prospect park

[jp @jbpeepee]

No I am happy, I just need a new enemy

[Ângel | wings 🪽 (11-6) @barbiefitting]

THE HOES MAD EDIT DROPPED

[jp @jbpeepee]

Do something @jalenbrunson1 @joshhart

[Legion Hoops @LegionHoops]

JUST IN: Azzi Fudd goes No. 1 overall to the Dallas Wings, and will join her girlfriend Paige Bueckers on the same WNBA team

[Alex Karaban @AlexKaraban]

Enjoying every moment left 🐺💙

[Tony Roundtree @Tonywithyy]

The timeline when Duke loses on a buzzer beater

[E.A.🤴🏾 @crashoutking1]

this angle is crazy. Hurley is a physcopath lmaooo

[Kendra Middleton @KendraMiddleton]

The Jordan’s Furniture guy right now

[dominique☼ @saokodomi]

a'ja gonna get bam pregnant

[Aaliyah Edwards @AaliyahEdwards_]

It’s that time of the year😏 #munchmadness💅🏽🏀

[ирис @saltwatermp3]

Fade into you..

[ArtButMakeItSports @ArtButSports]

La Retraite de Hugues de Payens, by Georges Mathieu, 1958 (rotated), 📸 by @tiltoncreative

[sunflower @nespressoooo_]

first in my bloodline to get blocked even on spotify and linkedin 🫣

[jp @jbpeepee]

But my words never fail

[jp @jbpeepee]

My mouth betrayed my mind