Jason Bunselmeyer

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@TMobileHelp Thank you. Chat initiated.

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@TMobileHelp Need to see if I can get some assistance. My Family Time 1000 plan was force migrated and my May bill is now 50% higher than it was. Anything you can do to help?

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@worldeater4022 @FungibleUnicorn @erikkain @Forbes As are you when people don't agree with your view.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@sperrydaniel94 Totally fair point, I was likely reading more into it, but their tease didn't really say anything about roster did it? I guess a new coach could be adding someone to the roster, which is what I was hoping for before any real player announcements since they just open today.

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@sperrydaniel94 Please tell us this is not the only SKC announcement today and SKC social media is punking us.

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@Battlefield Digging, digging, digging...

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@NVIDIAGeForce I've got a 3060 and a kid going into college next year, so I'm not upgrading anything soon. Enough said.

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@BattlPULSE I think you mean tomorrow through November 4.

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@WWSwagger @DeoLaudamus @thekccurrent @HRBlock @NWSL I'm assuming you mean the teal? Surely as a designer you must know the reasons they went with the color they did and consider it incorrect, right?

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@coopexe @BattlefieldComm @VinceZampella @Battlefield I'm another example of having issues but getting into a Portal match and have not received any compensation.

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@BattlPULSE Green rocks!

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@JohnB_911 @sperrydaniel94 Not watching but likely so. He reffed the KC media game during half of Saturday's match and I believe his son is engaged to Sharples.

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@meowmeowgE @sperrydaniel94 They actually haven't officially announced a team captain, Thommy has just been "default" so far.

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@Lag_Skip @JackRhysider @carljackmiller @Deku_shrub https://t.co/lNUoiPjK1c

[Jack Rhysider 🏴‍☠️ @JackRhysider]

I didn’t take home the trophy, but being nominated was still a win in my book. Your support means more than any award, so as a thank you, I’m dropping an extra episode this month! Give me a week to put on the finishing touches, you’ll have it soon.

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@iamcutterbutter @SportingKC I'm not happy either but where you seeing last place?

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@GA2KCMO @downthebyline That's the irony of it all, wasn't even a game worn jersey.

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@DrakieB11 @SportingKC @Audi They did sign another defender, today.

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@Elijahccox @SportingKC @Audi Just getting a chance to watch it and jumped out it at me. Probably not so much if you have been editing for endless hours, but just blame it on the intern!

[Jason Bunselmeyer @jbunselmeyer]

@sperrydaniel94 Front and center offer when I opened the app this morning. Happy to save a little $. Looking forward to Onside dropping this week as well on Apple TV+.