Jim Cozzens

Le travail éloigne de nous trois grands maux: l'ennui, le vice et le besoin.

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Dodgers fans when the lockout hits next summer

[Jim Cozzens @jcozz]

I wonder if spice companies and grocery stores realize how much more Im willing to pay for spices that come in a container that i can fit a teaspoon into…

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Jim Cozzens @jcozz]

Bruins!!!!

[Jacob Rudner @JacobRudner]

After recording a walk-off sac-fly last night, Mulivai Levu hits one a little further to right field to propel the Bruins to the Big Ten Championship. You’re looking at the No. 1 national seed.

[UCLA Baseball @UCLABaseball]

WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT‼️

📺B1G+

#GoBruins

[Jim Cozzens @jcozz]

Fuck basketball. @UCLAMBB

[Jim Cozzens @jcozz]

@BlatzBeerLover see ya on those few miles between.

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

"In my life, I have watched John Kennedy talk on television about missiles in Cuba. I saw Lyndon Johnson look Richard Russell squarely in the eye and and say, "And we shall overcome." I saw Richard Nixon resign and Gerald Ford tell the Congress that our long national nightmare was over. I saw Jimmy Carter talk about malaise and Ronald Reagan talk about a shining city on a hill. I saw George H.W. Bush deliver the eulogy for the Soviet bloc, and Bill Clinton comfort the survivors of Timothy McVeigh's madness in Oklahoma City. I saw George W. Bush struggle to make sense of it all on September 11, 2001, and I saw Barack Obama sing 'Amazing Grace' in the wounded sanctuary of Mother Emanuel Church in Charleston, South Carolina.
"These were the presidents of my lifetime. These were not perfect men. They were not perfect presidents, god knows. Not one of them was that. But they approached the job, and they took to the podium, with all the gravitas they could muster as appropriate to the job. They tried, at least, to reach for something in the presidency that was beyond their grasp as ordinary human beings. They were not all ennobled by the attempt, but they tried nonetheless.
"And comes now this hopeless, vicious buffoon, and the audience of equally hopeless and vicious buffoons who laughed and cheered when he made sport of a woman whose lasting memory of the trauma she suffered is the laughter of the perpetrators. Now he comes, a man swathed in scandal, with no interest beyond what he can put in his pocket and what he can put over on a universe of suckers, and he does something like this while occupying an office that we gave him, and while endowed with a public trust that he dishonors every day he wakes up in the White House.
"The scion of a multigenerational criminal enterprise, the parameters of which we are only now beginning to comprehend. A vessel for all the worst elements of the American condition. And a cheap, soulless bully besides. We never have had such a cheap counterfeit of a president* as currently occupies the office. We never have had a president* so completely deserving of scorn and yet so small in the office that it almost seems a waste of time and energy to summon up the requisite contempt.
"Watch how a republic dies in the empty eyes of an empty man who feels nothing but his own imaginary greatness, and who cannot find in himself the decency simply to shut up even when it is in his best interest to do so. Presidents don't have to be heroes to be good presidents. They just have to realize that their humanity is our common humanity, and that their political commonwealth is our political commonwealth, too.
Watch him behind the seal of the President of the United States. Isn't he a funny man? Isn't what happened to that lady hilarious? Watch the assembled morons cheer. This is the only story now."
- Charles Pierce

[Jim Cozzens @jcozz]

Remember “Alexis Goodlooking” from 30 Rock (former Jenna Maroney pilot)? Well, they just steered right into iceberg and made it. Its called “High Potential”

[Connor Kapoor @connorkapoor]

i think 9/10 problems with airline satisfaction could be resolved if they charged for carryons instead of checked bags.

[Jim Cozzens @jcozz]

“soldier’s stadium”

[Preston Brown @PrestonB4]

@chicagotribune The state cronies don’t want to help in the infrastructure because they think the bears will just stay at soldier’s stadium. Pritzer can see the bears only have Arlington park as their only option. ☹️

[George F. Will @GeorgeWill]

A sickening moral slum of an administration
https://t.co/1eJ2dQ5cPV

[Jim Cozzens @jcozz]

NBC announcers talking about USC "looking to shut the door" on UCLA with an 11 point lead with the entire 4th quarter to go? In what other game would they be talking like this?

[Northwestern Wildside @NUWildside]

*sight

[Jim Cozzens @jcozz]

Only ESPN could watch ND convincingly beat USC and then conclude... USC in playoffs and ND out of playoffs. Bravo. An absolute master class... 👏👏👏

https://t.co/4uWBTZ1ibe

[Jim Cozzens @jcozz]

It takes balls to do the "hang the banner" bit about a team that actually HAS banners when yours does not....but then, Angry Brewers Fan is a balls-y guy...

[Jim Cozzens @jcozz]

@Bill_Michaels @Cubs @Brewers Time to focus on the Dodgers there, chief.