marlie

[kat @seafairyservant]

Was trying to order a turkey bacon club but asked for a “turken bakey club”

[r @_rzua]

was what we had real or cake

[wizard girl @evilwizardbunny]

i took him to the store and showed him all of my favorite aisles ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

[Tyler @BalloonFlavour]

If a guy is wearing salmon shorts you have to assume he has rohypnol in his pocket

[C @virgohives]

Remember that lady was selling that mysterious pink sauce and couldn’t explain what was in it or what it tasted like

[jayjay ☆ 𖦹₊⊹🛸🧸 @LIMBOLIBRARY]

why didn’t he do something

[vio @Erogetism]

Does anybody know if you can save a Situationship with a baby

[The Respectful Foamer @ciswoman]

Smoking on that pack that contains the ghost of someone's dad

[I eat short people @UnderwearStain]

Becoming a dentist and burping directly into my patient's open mouth

[𝖓𝖆𝖟 ꒰ঌ ໒꒱ @nazzygirlxx]

you’re on thick ice. i love you

[lars & that | BINNIE DAY!!! @larsune]

BRO😭😭😭😭😭😭

[mae @httpm4e]

no contact phase but their birthday is coming up

[hb @h3xenbrenner2]

even if you paused your game to be somewhere?

[delphine @dollydelph]

this is actually how i feel 24/7

[ry @phoebebirdgers]

just ate a piece of chocolate and my teeth hurt

[Ricky Hollywood @victim_burn77]

Growing up my parents were fine with any soda except Mountain Dew they thought it was like the fentanyl of soft drinks

[grace @gracefishlove]

idk i think the elephant really ties the room together

[pinkie @pinkamaniaa]

if you’re wondering what the fuck is wrong with me imagine how i feel

[bri @badtweetbri]

when i’m in public and can tell someone is on a first date