Jeff Bender

Registration for News-Style Satire:

[Jeff Bender @jeffbendernet]

Thank you ⁦@SlackjawHumor⁩ and Emily Menez for running “I’m One Of Those Cool Guys Who Doesn’t Text Back Right Away.” Comments? Text me. https://t.co/hRCdVXlUGk

[Jeff Bender @jeffbendernet]

And get 10% off with code SATIRE10

[Jeff Bender @jeffbendernet]

Hi! I’m teaching a 6-week news-satire-writing class for Hugo House that’s coming up on Monday (Oct. 6).

Have you ever wondered how to break into these markets? How ‘The Onion’ works? What other markets are out there?

We’ll cover all of this — with special guests.

Link in bio

[Jeff Bender @jeffbendernet]

https://t.co/Iruy7ceY6s

Thanks, @REALpunknews, for letting me help take on Aerosmith’s “Crazy”

[Jeff Bender @jeffbendernet]

Drummer Wants More Creative Input on Where the Band Stops for Lunch https://t.co/gaJN69qKcy Thanks, @REALpunknews!

[Jeff Bender @jeffbendernet]

https://t.co/9qBSX0m87o

Remember Christopher Walken in the video for “Weapon of Choice”? @thehardtimesnews let me contribute some jokes to their updated take.

[Jeff Bender @jeffbendernet]

This is crazy -- my Nutcracker article in McSweeney's has been "trending." Soon it will slide into obscurity, but for now --

[McSweeney's @mcsweeneys]

PRODUCER 2: Okay, so: Curtain up. It’s Christmas Eve. A young girl named Clara is opening gifts. One happens to be from her favorite uncle, a kind of creepy mask-wearing guy named Drosselmeyer.

PRODUCER 1: Don’t love this...
https://t.co/SpRWhy2b3B

[Jeff Bender @jeffbendernet]

Thanks, ⁦@REALpunknews⁩! Love to all moms everywhere. https://t.co/Cs63wYd5DL

[Jeff Bender @jeffbendernet]

Thanks @justingawel and @SlackjawHumor for publishing "I’m A Dad — Isn’t It Hilarious How I Don’t Know Anything About My Kids?!" and thanks to the great @rachelreyes240 for help editing. This one might hurt a little. https://t.co/85sBAjDCNn

[Jeff Bender @jeffbendernet]

I spent the '90s listening to the Traveling Wilburys in my dad's car cassette player, looking at this image and wondering who the "other guy" was. Roy Orbison, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, George Harrison, and . . ? Anyway, I wrote this about that.
https://t.co/qUx21gUA1E

[Jeff Bender @jeffbendernet]

Monopoly anyone? The great ⁦@TaliaArgondezzi⁩ and I wrote this piece about the dreaded family game night. “How To Win Family Game Night” by Talia Argondezzi & Jeff Bender https://t.co/Wh5KZIdw0a

[Jeff Bender @jeffbendernet]

There's no way to set this piece up without irony -- except to say thank you, @katie_a_rob and @ElectricLit !

A Facebook Announcement From Your Author Friend Who Has Some News https://t.co/TKutzz3why via @electriclit

[McSweeney's @mcsweeneys]

Gospel According to Matthew: Cut (boring)

Gospel According to Mark: Cut (too woke)

Gospel According to Luke: Cut (overrated) https://t.co/koWM3k0NXv

[Jeff Bender @jeffbendernet]

Thanks, McSweeney’s, for running this piece about Trump’s new Bible! I think the lyrics to “YMCA” should be included too.

https://t.co/01xbmSskN6

[Jeff Bender @jeffbendernet]

I find it impossible not to say "vehemently" vehemently

[Jeff Bender @jeffbendernet]

I just published It’s Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday — Time for a Romantic Fast! https://t.co/TP0VnXP7jJ

[Jeff Bender @jeffbendernet]

I have a new piece called “My Friends: A Power Ranking” in @SlackjawHumor today. Howard, my #10, is a real guy!

https://t.co/fotC3fwpi9

[Jeff Bender @jeffbendernet]

All the liquor stores near my house are called “Fine Wine and Good Spirits.” I like their honesty.
—How’s your wine?
—Fine.
—Oh. But your spirits, though—I bet they’re great.
—I wouldn’t go that far.

[Talia Argondezzi @TaliaArgondezzi]

Wow, @jeffbendernet and I wrote the 8th most-read article on McSweeney's this year! This is awesome!