jemiame🩵☁️

barely a person, supposedly a girl. full of microplastics & feminine rage.

[Andrea Berting @andreaberting]

I have learned tonight that Rice Chex is fortified with ~12.5mg of iron per serving and I will be relying on this from this day forward

[sam 📚 @samanthaistan]

hey god so I know that you’re busy trying to heal the pope but if you could spare a thought and lift whatever biblical curse is on philly sports that would be great amen

[Ian @ianfromphilly]

the Eagles medical staff after being asked why they cleared a guy with a blood clot to play football

[lark 🧝‍♀️🍂 @livelaughlark]

i am the friend enjoyer. stay in my house. smoke my weed. my couch is ready for u

[BlockHead @blockhead4000]

The reason he hires these morons is that they function as a heat-sink and can be safely jettisoned in the event of a crisis. Its actually pretty smart. Every second you spend talking about this retard is a second you arent asking why the same groceries that were $75 last year are $110 now but your salary stayed the same.

[wear an N95 in public (ily) @hopelessxentric]

You could write a book about the social function of patriarchal violence and everything you need to get started is in this tweet

[ND (with the "upmost" respect) 🏁 @nathand_12]

this is the exact tone and cadence of a maid of honor saying “she’s my ride or die, my partner in crime, and my best friend since high school—go huskies! 😝”

[B. @verygoodchat]

So when we talk about covid being a vascular virus and not a respiratory virus, this is what we mean...

[devon @idontgraf]

they fully touched lips like completely undeniably touched lips

[Sam Costner @samuel_costner]

If it seems like you grew up to make twice as much money as you expected, only to afford half of what you used to, you're correct.

[Variety @Variety]

“Schitt’s Creek” star Dan Levy is calling out Shane Gillis' #SNL monologue.

"I’m speechless that something like that can exist on live national television. And to be perfectly honest, more men need to be standing up in opposition to it because it’s complacency that has created the environment in which women are sexually assaulted and it’s a ‘conversation’ as opposed to a ‘crime.'" https://t.co/HmSE7SLEn5

[Shannon Loys @shannonical]

Final stroller discourse thoughts:

You don't need to see the whole zoo. That's an adult value projected onto a child's outing.

It's good for kids to associate rest with a pause in action. Tired? We stop. We sit. We rest. Dare to do nothing and let your kids experience a real, actual pause.

It's a lot easier to tell your kid, no you need to walk, when they actually do need to walk. If they see an empty seat in a stroller, it'll be more of a battle.

Kids can walk more than you think they can. Stroller culture in its current form is very new. I think we should be wary of changing childhood too much with unprecedented levels of convenience and comfort.

If you need the wagon for your stuff, you're probably bringing too much stuff. Too many snacks, for sure.

Lastly, although I have strong opinions I don't derive pleasure from hurting people's feelings. I was in a spicy mood. Now I'll go back to writing things no one reads.

[Jenni @hashjenni]

Watching a data center burn to the ground might be the highlight of our year

[just dani @deezhawn]

You can if you get off your phone. I wish I was joking

[Not Bijan @InBijanWeTrust]

Tua is the funniest QB ever he just jogged out there cleats untied wedgie in his butt and threw it directly to Kyle Hamilton and got right on the team bus

[Mina Kimes @minakimes]

The NFC East winning 0 games on a week in which two teams played each other feels like a pretty good encapsulation of the division at the moment

[Chris Spooner @SpoonfulofSport]

This is legitimately one of the funniest things I've seen a player do on the field in quite some time

[Shannon Loys @shannonical]

One of my more judgy parenting opinions is that you all are pushing your kids in strollers way too long. 2-year-olds should walk.

Kids in the wagons with their snack pouches, water bottles, and battery operated fans look like the humans in Wall-E to me

[g. ☁︎ @cloudnacre]

my body keeps mistaking me for something it needs to destroy. and i keep waking up inside it, making coffee, loving things, pretending this isn’t a very strange way to be alive.

[Aurora Britt @Britt4rva]

It’s so interesting how many people want to apocalypse larp and talk about colapse and then I try and talk about hardening sewer systems they get bored. Like buddy the apocalypse is going to be boring as shit. It’s just spending all day fixing shit that you wished never broke.