Jen Albanese 🥣

comedy writer | alien 🌈

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

Everyone’s always bragging about their telekinesis…what about their Telekin-nephews?

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

what train stop are you getting off at?

me: …deva station

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

@beckywtheokhair Messaged you!

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

I interviewed for my very first television writing job in the bathroom of a preschool that I work at and I’m just now acknowledging how crazy that was.

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

Especially if you do it to them every day.

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

Don’t forget that it’s ILLEGAL under Joe Biden to tell someone that they look tired.

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

Laughing so hard, just realized Kariselle from Perfect Match is from Sexy Beasts…the panda.

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

@kendrabodan @MediumSizeMeech Yes chef!

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

My favorite thing about me is that someone I knew in high school’s profile pic is of him storming the capitol. ✨You?

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

I was named after Jen Shah.

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

Hey RJ, you left your lights on.

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

The Super Bowl is like the Super Bowl of commercials.

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

The millennial pause to menopause pipeline.

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

Dropped my laundry off at daycare this morning. I can’t wait to see them when I get home.

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

Alexa, does Jennifer Coolidge have children bedsides Stifler?

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

The history books don’t teach you that 90% of marriage is just listening to each other fart.

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

Jeff Bezos is just Santa Clause, the paid version.

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

Back in my day cyber Monday involved a lot more a/s/l & ( . ) ( . )

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

@YoGlo_ Hahahah honestly I prob have dementia.

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

ADHD is finding a cup in the microwave that was supposed to be your tea three days ago.

[Jen Albanese 🥣 @jenalbs]

@connerozer As fah me, ah you’ll see.