jen curran

Perfect wife and mother. Thief. Forensic accountant. Process server. Childhood best friend. Adult diaper. 2002 synchronized dive team world champ

[jen curran @jencurran]

Wanna hear a crazy story? I’m a new mom & I had protein in my urine during and after pregnancy, which is bad. A doctor told me to “lose weight” & it would go away. Didn’t want me to see me back for months. So I got a second opinion. Turns out I have bone marrow cancer. THREAD: 1/

[jen curran @jencurran]

@LibbyMbc I’m so sorry Libby

[jen curran @jencurran]

@jsweeenz Yes!!!

[jen curran @jencurran]

Hi @chrissyteigen big swing here but can I borrow $95k for surrogacy? I can’t carry because I got cancer right after my 1st was born but we really wanna have one more. There aren’t fertility loans and it’s too steep on our own. Mom to Mom - help me out and I’ll pay you back?💕💕

[jen curran @jencurran]

I think I’m gonna start my war on Christmas early this year. Retweet to enlist

[jen curran @jencurran]

@meaghano That’s exactly it, the harder you try, the more suspicious or something (?) they become. Humbling

[jen curran @jencurran]

Me: I’m just trying to advocate for myself

Pharm: I have 5 other patients holding right now I don’t have time

Me: I’m a patient. Can you please make time?

Pharm: Fine I’ll call you back

Me: Okay thank you so much. You said your name is Kim?

Pharm: >hangs up<

[jen curran @jencurran]

At some point a drugstore has to be able to manage people’s real needs. There’s a lack of empathy, a lack of basic kindness. An accusatory vibe. People begin to question their pain. My doctor was able to help move things ahead but not everyone is so lucky. How is that safe?

[jen curran @jencurran]

I just got out of rehab after having 2 femurs replaced. And yesterday they found my foot broken in 2 places. PT, a walker, a boot, follow-ups. I’m doing it! But the pharmacy run around to get pain meds has been humbling and scary. There has to be a better way to help everyone

[jen curran @jencurran]

@__eshani Thrilling and upsetting that’s exactly it

[jen curran @jencurran]

If you’re in a group of people watching the sunset and nobody yells “There it goes!” as the sun dips below the horizon then you’re probably with vampires who are already plotting so get the heck outta there

[jen curran @jencurran]

There should 2 ways to become a doctor in America:

1. The usual way, or

2. You are a regular and storied patient with complex stuff going on (professional patients, I call us) being treated by the health care industry for a minimum of 4 years.

Come at me.

[jen curran @jencurran]

@carlykimmel Me too! And I always hunker down to read those memes about the signs, so excited to explore, and then I get to Scorpio and it’s like “this is an ass person, next!”

[jen curran @jencurran]

All the other zodiac signs are so complex and multi-layered, interesting, weird, dynamic, and then there’s Scorpio where everyone’s just like “what a murderer.”

[jen curran @jencurran]

Nurse: Get this. Our patient broke his foot, brought his walker too far into the MRI room and it got sucked into the machine!
Me: Omg!
Nurse: It gets worse. He’s a cop and had his loaded gun in the little caddy of that walker.
Me: WHAT?!
Nurse: They had to call the fire dept

[jen curran @jencurran]

Me: Did you make a mistake?
4yo: It wasn’t a mistake, it was on purpose for no reason

[jen curran @jencurran]

My Multiple Myeloma is “well-controlled” but I’m not in remission. Going on 4 years of chemo. And I’ll always have to have treatment. I have an appointment this Thursday! I actually don’t mind. Love the nurses, love my doctor. Now if only they had a childcare option 🤔

[jen curran @jencurran]

@rabennett77 😮

[jen curran @jencurran]

Remember how 4 years ago I was diagnosed with cancer after my first opinion said I just needed to “lose the baby weight.” Not much has changed since then. Recently I asked the bone surgeon about recovery time. He said, “Well I know you have a little extra meat on those thighs.”

[jen curran @jencurran]

@clhubes That was honestly one of the biggest red flags for me! I couldn’t make sense of it. And she’d actually just given birth to her 4th baby and hadn’t lost HER “baby weight” (whatever the hell that means) but was having Papa John’s pizza delivered to her office while we met 🙃

[jen curran @jencurran]

@ehme I don’t know what that is but no thank you! 🩷🩷🩷🩷

[jen curran @jencurran]

I’m back. Lost my blue check mark and not even sure what I’m doing here but I’m back. Thank you in advance for the 12 likes this will get. I’m lit on pain meds after a bilateral thigh replacement. Just got out of acute rehab 2 days ago. What better time to do my little remarks 💞